Im Not Okay (I Promise)

Chapter 2

Mikey and I arrived after Gerard and April got there. I said bye to Mikey before going to my locker, I won't see him all day only lunch and study hall. I opened my locker, I turned to see Gerard standing with his girlfriend and the populars. I rolled my eyes and got my stuff out. One of the jocks Sam tripped me, I dropped all my things I picked them up and continued walking down the hall ignoring all the words.

My first class was with Gerard and he was sitting by me. I got in the class to see that the teachers not here today and we don't have a sub lucky me. "Hey Gee?" I said "hmmm" he said "why do you ignore me? We are best friends I miss talking to you" I said sadly "I have no time to talk" he said "well clearly you have time to talk to your slutty girlfriend but you don't have time for me!" I said angrily leaving and going to the playground and sitting on the swings.

I took out my razor and looked around it was very excluded only me Gerard and Mikey knew about it, it's basically in the woods a run down playground. I cut all the way up my arm watching the blood go down and same thing with the next arm. It felt so good letting all my depression and anxiety out I love Gerard but he hates me. Fuck school, i'm skipping today I don't care I have no one only Mikey. My parents got arrested for murder there doing life in jail.

I covered my face with my bangs and sobbed quietly letting the hot tears roll down my cool face. I put my razor away and put my jacket back on. I covered my face with my hands until I hear my name. "(F/N)! What's wrong I saw you run out of school" I looked up to see Mikey, he ran over and hugged me. He knows how I feel about Gerard "I flipped out on Gerard, I love him so much but he only likes populars not some emo bitch!"

I said sobbing loudly  "cmon we have to get back to school" Mikey said hugging me once more before helping me up and taking me back to school. I decided to skip 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6 th period that only leaves 2 more study hall with Mikey and Art with Gerard. Mikey and I drew until the period was over.

I finally entered hell the last class of the day thank gawd it's Friday I can't stand another day at school. I slowly walked to art with my pencil and sketch book. The teacher Mrs. Plum is nice, she gave us the period off so we can do whatever I sat on the window seal and looked out the window.

I drew about my life until Gerard walked over to me "Whatcha drawing?" He asked "why do you all of a sudden care?" I asked annoyed "well..." Gerard said looking down "I was thinking about what you said and I broke up with my girlfriend... I decided that I want to spend time with my best friend" he said smiling I smiled back.

He sat down across from me on the window seal. I sketched for a bit and looked up to see Gerard starring at me. I quickly looked back down and blushed and continued to sketch. "(F/N) wanna have a sleep over tonight?" He asked "s-sure..." I said shyly.

The period ended quickly I stopped at my locker and grabbed my bag I didn't see Gerard or Mikey. I saw the populars though, they were whispering to each other. Sam came over to me " watch your back emo bitch" he said pushing me into the wall making me fall to my knees.

I got up and saw that slut April, I could see her thong I hated her she probably already has another boyfriend. I walk out of school to see Mikey talking to Jaden a girl in my grade I was excited for him. I walked over "hi... Mikey you should invite Jaden to the sleepover tonight!" I said happily he blushed.

"Sleepover?" Jaden asked "me you Gerard and Mikey" I giggled "sounds fun just let me text my mom" she said "oki!" I said happily Mikey mouthed the words 'thank you' I smiled. "Where's Gerard?" I asked "he's coming he has to go back and get his phone" Mikey said.

We waited for about 10 minutes and then Gerard comes out of the school and told us he got detention. We walk to the Way house quietly, I listened to music with Gerard while Jaden and Mikey talked. We slowly arrived to Gerard and Mikey's house.

As Gerard and I slowly parted away these past couple years my blades got longer, and I starved myself. Also Depression and anxiety started settling in but when we hang out i act like everything is fine when it's not, I wish I could just tell him.

I don't want him to think any less than what he already does i know im not perfect like those sluts he's always with but im an exception im not anorexic skinny but i am skinny. I kept thinking good thoughts about myself to stop the suffering.

I keep thinking about Gerard with those other girls, every girl he goes out with breaks my heart even more. I love Gerard... I thought to myself over and over again until he snapped me out of my thoughts "(F/N) are you okay?" He asked me I nodded and smiled faintly "yes im fine" he put his arm around me and I practically died.

"Okay" he said unsure. We got into the house and made sleeping arrangements I was sleeping with Gerard in his room so me and him could talk about stuff...it was his idea...and Mikey with Jaden either in his room or on the couch so they could bond more depending on how comfortable Jaden is. Jadens mom bought her stuff and we rented a horror movie. Let the sleepover begin...

To be continued...

Hey guys I have school tomorrow.... What a load of shit... I will have late updates because I just have to play softball...I hate it anyway I'll try and write as much as I can good bye my lovelies!