flicker oneshots.

Hallow on the inside

Angst

Nikolai

Tw: abuse (mentioned) bullying, self-harm

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THIRD PERSON

   Nikolai has always been so cold. He bullies everyone, the whole damned school hates him. He would pull people's hair, or splash water on their heads. But there's this boy he always targeted. Mateo. He'd always just pick on him. Rosalie, his enemy, tried defending Mateo. Mateo is absolutely nothing without Rosalie. He's the school bully. He's always getting in trouble, his parents were so annoyed getting so many calls from the school's office. He's always picking on people. No one knows why he's like this. He doesn't reveal anything personal about himself. They always say that he's just selfish and always caring about himself. But is that true? Nikolai could possibly just hate everyone, with his rude personality and attitude. 

And now everyone is relieved to have a break from all the fuss. Nikolai hasn't been to school in like a month or two. Although there are some people who are worried about him. The main one? Mateo. But why? Nikolai always bullied Mateo so why would he care about Nikolai? The one who ruined his life? He felt a connection since they used to be best friends. And he wondered why. Why? Why does he care, for the person who made his life so much worse? 

  Nikolai wasn't always a bad kid. In fact, he was one of the nicest kids ever. Was. He was one of those straight-A students. Helping everyone and giving out compliments and stopped all fights he'd witnessed. All happy and smart. All kind and caring. What happened? His parents.  They grew abusive. And he hated the fact he loved them.

  Nikolai here, living all alone. He fallen, in a deep dark depression. His parents abandoned him. And here he is. Lying on the floor of the cold wooden floor tiles of his apartment bedroom. Back faced to the door. Dull eyes. Full of exhaustion. It was dark out. 6:42 pm. Not as dark, just a nice vibe. His stomach rumbled. He doesn't know how long since he had eaten, but he knows it for sure was a while. There wasn't much food in the apartment. Just a bunch of ramen packets. He was pretty rich for a 16-year-old living by himself. Though he barely even uses the money. He just sits there in his room. Like always. Tired. He sighed. Thinking of all his good memories. Used to be Mateo's best friend. Now he's his bully. He gets up and walks over to the bathroom. Groaning in pain from not eating for more than a week. Eyes still dull. Beautiful blonde hair. Digging into the cabinet, he finds his little razor he hides at the back. He pulls his sleeve up and revealed the beautiful scars littered across his arm. New and old. Dried blood and red crimson blood. And burns scars. He finds it ugly but continues to damage it. And so begin. He sliced. Beautiful crimson red spills out. Again. Again. Again. Slice. Slice. Slice. He draws a little heart. Red. Done. It hurt. But all he could do was stare and drag a forced little smile. He got used to the pain. But it still hurts. It was addicting. Covering up the arm with silk white bandages, the blood-soaked through. The pure white turned red. It was mesmerizing, to him. He covered up again and pull his sleeve down and took a good look at himself in the mirror. Depressing. Dull grey eyes. Messy blonde hair. He sighed and took off to his room. Closing the light. He went back to his spot. At the door. On the cold floor. 

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

Groaning in annoyance. He got up and walked slowly and exhaustedly out of his room. He almost fainted while walking because of how lightheaded and tired he is. "Who.. is it." "It's your landlord. You haven't paid the rent in two months, sir." He reached into his pocket not even looking down and grabbed 150$ without even looking and slipped it through the door. (I don't know how this shit works) "Thanks. Bye." He heard him grab the money and went away. He walked back to his room slowly. He just sat in the corner.  And pulled his hood up. He was so tired and annoyed. He couldn't even cry. He sat there emotionless. His phone dinged. "Ugh. Who the fuck is it now." He groaned in annoyance. Huh. A message from Rosalie. Weird. He thought he blocked her.