One More Drop

First Time

Nobody would notice if I'll be dead by midnight,
On the outside, it'll snow sterile, cold and white,
The blood will paint the pure snow pink red,
It'll be my first time but it feels like the hundredth

Yet, my fingers tremble when I hold the knife,
Aren't they already cold enough to take a life?
This is what I've always hated winters for,
They made me cold, much more than I'd wished for

Will my blood freeze when I'll bleed?
Will this choice be the only thing that I really need?
Will my corpse drop dead, lifeless and frozen?
Is it just my over thinking or I'll regret what I've chosen?

The cold has invaded more than just my fingers,
The ticking clock is giving more than just shivers,
I don't know which is more colder; my own hands or the knife's blade?
Now, no one dare say that it's a coward outta myself that I made

Nobody would notice that I'm dead by midnight,
On the outside, it's snowing sterile, cold and white,
The blood is painting the pure snow pink red,
It ain't my first time for on the inside, I've always been dead

____________________________

I know, beginnings are supposed to be cheerful. But I've always preferred the dark more.

Shine