Captive (Loki Story 18+)

7

Green suddenly engulfs us as Loki holds me to him, his grip never loosening.

As the green disappears, I immediately recognized my surroundings. We're in my room.

"What are we-"

"Your mother can protect you better than I can," he pulls me to his chest, "I will place what wards I can to help aid in keeping Minsela away from you. Keep yourself and the baby as safe as you can. Stay here if you must, I will come to see you as often as I am allowed to make sure everything is alright."

"Baby?" I pull away from him, "you got me pregnant?"

What the hell?

"Yes," he cups my face in his large hands, "and I won't let anything happen to you or our child. You have my word. But you cannot tell anyone that you have been with me, or whose the child is. If you do, I'll be put back onto a cell and I won't be able to protect you."

I stare at him in disbelief.

He kidnaps me, rapes me, gets me pregnant and then just expects me trust him?

I push him away.

"You bastard," I hit him, "how could you?"

"Y/n, please," he grabs my arms.

"No!" I rip my arms from his grasp, "how could you?!"

"Because I love you!"

I freeze, my eyes wide as I stare at him.

"Because I saw the pain and the sorrow of a kind and wonderful woman and I fell in love. Because I wanted to take away her pain and give her my love. Because I looked at you and I saw myself. Because all I ever wanted was you."

He cups my face again, swiping away my tears with him thumbs. His eyes bore into mine as his lips slowly meet mine and my eyes flutter closed.

The kiss is soft yet passionate, filled with love and adoration.

He pulls away after what feels like an eternity and rests his forehead against mine.

I take a shaking breath as fresh tears fall from my eyes.

"Well we don't always get what we want."

His eyes glaze with unshed tears.

"Y/n please," his voice shakes.

"Get out," I push at his chest.

"Please," his voice is desperate now.

"I said get out," I growl, "stay away from me."

A single tear falls from his eye as he looks at me in desperation and shock.

"Fine, I'll go," he lowers his head, "but if you will not keep the child for me, then keep it in spite of your sister. She wants it dead, she said it would get in the way of something."

The ritual.

The baby is the only thing that will keep me anchored to this world.

"Fine, I'll keep the bastard child," I glare at him, "but not for you."

He nods and in a cloud of green, he's gone.

I stand in my room now glaring at the floor, wishing for all the world that I had died the day I was born.

The anger slowly disappears and is replaced with an empty feeling of sorrow and guilt and pain.

I sink to my knees and cry.

Why do I want him to come back?

Why do I want to feel happy about the disgusting thing he's put inside of me?

Why do I want to apologize for the hurtful things I said to him?

Why have I lost my god damn mind?

The door to my room opens.

"Y/n!" Mom shouts as she comes to my side, wrapping her arms around my sobbing form, "are you okay? What happened? Where have you been? Who took you? Did your father get to you?"

I say nothing, only letting sobs escape me as she holds me tighter.

Why doesn't it feel like home?

Why doesn't it feel like his hold?

"I-," I sniff, "I just need to sleep."

"Are you sure?" He cups my face to look me in the eyes.

"Yeah," I nod, "I just need sleep for right now."

"Alright, sweetheart," she helps me to my feet and I crawl into my bed, "we can talk when you wake up."

I nod and she leaves my room.

I pull the blankets up to my chin as more silent tears fall.

My bed feels empty. I miss his arms wrapping around me as I sleep. I miss his scent in the blankets. I miss the feeling of his soft breathing on my neck as he sleeps. I miss the small noises he makes in his sleep.

I've gone crazy.

I sob into the blanket, pulling it over my head.

Why do I miss anything about him?

Loki's POV
I stand in my room at the tower angry at the world. Angry at Minsela. Angry at their father.

Angry at myself.

I should have never taken her. I should have left her where she was, then I wouldn't feeling guilty. I wouldn't feel like scum. I wouldn't feel so broken.

I want her back in my arms. I want everything else in the world to just let me have her. I want to hold her. I want to hold our child. I want to cherish them both.

Why must fate me so cruel? Enticing me with everything I want, only to rip it away and keep it just out of my reach.

I sit down on my bed, face in hands wishing I could start all over. Wishing I had never laid eyes on her.
Wishing I could turn back time.

But if I did that, I know I would just do it all over again. I could never just let her go.

"All Father, what do I do?" I swipe away the treacherous tears that leak from my eyes, "why must I lose everything I hold dear? First mother, now y/n. Why can I not be happy?"

I was a fool to think I could ever be happy. A fool to believe I could be loved by someone like her. Someone so pure of heart.

I was a fool.

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Oh look I finally updated this again