Life As It Is

~ Chapter Nine ~

     It's hard to imagine yourself with someone else after they constantly lied to you. Maybe it's just that fact that makes it hard for you to love yourself and someone again. That you have to be careful in which you don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes it's best that you separated in the first place. So then two months forward you can look back and be happy for each other because everything is going well. Though losing someone that you are forbidden to talk to is probably the worst feeling in the whole wide world. You know that it was against everything to not talk but you still did and you still miss them dearly. The only problem that now you face is that in a day that you are going to have a new started completely. Yet there are still memories that are there and you can't forget. The songs that you constantly remind you of that one person and softly smile whenever you hear them. Thinking to yourself is this really the last time we are ever going to talk or will there be another chance we can finally talk again. I was lord too. My whole family has me in their chains and there is no way to break them. 

   The chains. Chains of rules. Chains of laws. Chains of broken trust. Chains of freedom that isn't there. Chains that are wrapped around me choking me that I can't be free the way that I want to be. That I can't be the girl I want to be. Being on the behavior that I must be. That I have to hold myself together again only not to fall apart. The impossible for me that I can't do without my parents beside me. But I need him too. Wait. Which him? I have someone that has known me for two years and has made me smile so very much. The forbidden lover. Romeo and Juliet..just no happy ending. Then there's the other him. Someone that you have beside you. That has been there for you through the month of harassment from your ex-boyfriend. What is there possible to do?

  The answer is void and there are many. The only answer is to get those chains lose from killing you slowly. From keeping your goals that you have in mind to be reachable. You have to believe in yourself. Don't kill your self. You are with it. I know that it seems hard and impossible. But it isn't people love and care for you. Just remember them. Your lover/s, your family, friends, pets, and even strangers that you don't even know that care for you. Please keep moving forward and don't look back.