Life As It Is

~ Chapter Six ~

   There comes a time in life when you think you fixed everything but in reality you haven't gotten you shit together at all. I don't know how to explain it well enough but it's the sudden feeling that you've lost everything except that one that you love and that you know that loves you back. To the point when you feel used and abused by many people but you always push their words against you aside and you always will wish bad upon them even though you haven't done anything wrong besides a few mistakes. When that person took everything away from you and then you know that they probably need it more than you so you just let it be when really it hurts more than you think and tell yourself. Knowing that you can't talk to that one that you protected and loved trying to get up back on their feet and the ones that you know don't like you but say things that aren't true about you. What way does it even work anymore? I don't really know but I know that this game called "love" isn't real. That no one really loves you until you've died that maybe it's better off you just not living. Then he comes up in your mind and you just rest, crying on your pillow knowing that he would follow you and probably yell at you for doing such stupid thing. You think that you lost everything but sometimes you just got to keep pushing forward and remember those that actually love you will stay at you side always and those that just come back for awhile and then stop talking to you are worth nothing even though you can never forget them. Keeping the memories that you have left of them is all you can do and all you can remember. However, you know that in the end that they were the ones that messed up more than you did and they will see it when it's too late.

    Too late.

     Too late for a new beginning. Too late to ever seem them again. Too late to plan everything that you guys had in mind before it all happened. Too late to go back to normal. Too late to actually say "I love you". Too late to see them smile again. Too late to ever be in their arms. Too late cause one of them will move on before you. Too late until one of you actually finds their soulmate. Too late until one of you dies first outta pain. Too late..

    All true but the person that is "too late" is them. It took them too long to actually see what a wonderful person that you are. That people are willing to actually stand up and fight for them and they are stronger without you at their side. That your by someone else's side that you are much more of worthy with them then they were with you. That in the end they were the one that was wrong and it was never you. You were just the one that tried your hardest and in the end failed, but they were the ones that failed to see you for you. They were the ones that brought you down and not up. Even though you did everything for them it has become pointless. That your an amazing and strong person along and that you deserve everything! That they were the foolish ones that didn't see that but now that your gone for good they will most likely want you back. Just ignore them because you shouldn't go back to them no matter how much you care and love them still. You have to look in front of you at the amazing life you have ahead of you and the people that actually love you for you. That in the end they are the ones that are reading this or something that you said to them a long ago wishing that they hadn't messed up. Knowing it's going to take a long time that you will ever see them as you used to even though you see them still the same your just putting up your walls so that you will never get hurt by them again. For that is the best thing you can do sometimes