Dear Intruder | (Completed)

CHAPTER 34: Under The Willow Tree

"Hey?! Seriously Jay?" She fumed with rage, "If this was a game of deception, you should have deceived me till the end!"

Jay didn't seem surprised by her anger, as if he predicted it, he defended himself with a calm, guarded expression, "It wasn't like that. I didn't want to lie anymore, not to you of all people."

Ella glared at him, "Why not? It started out that way, why was it suddenly so difficult?"

"You know why." He said intensely.

Silence followed his words and everything came to a staggering halt as she thought of his confession from a few weeks ago.

"I'm going to kill you so thoroughly that even your ghost would feel it!" she grumbled furiously, breaking the ice.

Jay smiled a little at her threat and said, "Okay, but please hear me out before you do that."

Ella looked up at him incredulously, she couldn't believe the situation she was in, "Hear you out? Give me one good reason why? You freaking ran away!"

He winced and hid his face with the brown diary and concaved his shoulders, "I know, the running was metaphorical till now...but it suddenly got real, I panicked okay! Either way, I'm tired now." He sighed, "I thought your shift starts later?"

"I switched with Eddy." She told him flatly and she had to beg Leah to take care of the library work just for her to be there.

She couldn't help but stare at the brown hardbound diary he held in in his fingers... she really thought she would never see it again.

He lowered the diary and revealed his flushed face. "Of course," he mumbled as if the universe conspired against him. "Ella I swear I planned it better, heck, I planned an elegant entry in a suit from behind the tree- that would be adequate for Elliot, but hey, I'm not all Elliot, I'm also this clumsy, casual guy who's..."

"Real?" She supplied, smiling a bit at his description of showing up in a suit.

Jay smiled crookedly as he looked at her, "Yeah..." He nodded, "Real. It's just- just that- this everyday life seemed to allow only superficial interactions, not that they are fake, you know. But this can't be it. There are things that are felt... ever so deeply, I couldn't find a space to bring it out. I didn't know how it's said or who would understand but then you stole my journal, invaded my very personal space and wrote in it... in a way that allowed that dialogue I'd so longed for..."

Ella listened intently, noticing how he sounded so unlike himself and yet so very much him- it was a paradox. "Go on..." she said, not wanting to interrupt even though she had questions.

"I was afraid that what is wholeness to me may seem like a contradiction to you, I thought it wouldn't work because you've seen me at my lowest and I never wanted anyone to see that... I didn't mean to drag this for so long, I swear, but with that Neo dude..." He trailed off and suddenly fell quiet.

Ella understood where he was going with that, "So that night- when you came over, and the confession..."

"That was not intended, not at all, it was a pure mess! And today has been no less- that night I showed up at your door to tell you I was the one who's been writing letters to you but I couldn't after what all you said, after you rejected me, Please tell me you're not rejecting me again?"

"I'm gonna kill you." She took a threatening step forward while he took a step back.

"Sounds less painful." He mumbled, preparing to run.

"If you run again Jay, I swear I'll beat you dead!"

He froze, "Please have mercy."

She stood there and looked at him, feeling like she was about to cry or throw up, "You drove me insane." she accused. He already had answered the questions she had. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why deceive me? What did you want out of it? Was any of it real? But even with all the answers, she felt agitated and not quite at peace.