Random Clone Wars One-Shots

Broken

Look at me updating two days in a row! I wrote this a while ago, but finished it today so..

It's very depressing. It has a lot of depressing metaphors and it's not supposed to make you feel good about anything, so be warned. If you get triggered, I'll apologize, and ask you what triggered you if that's okay so I can add triggers cuz I don't wanna trigger anyone and don't really know what kind of triggers to put for this. I apologize if this triggers you in any way

Also this is very open ended to interpret it as you wish

It's about 500 words which is low for me, but I don't think I can write 1k words just yet on something like this 

It would be okay. Everything would be okay. She knew it would. Everything would be fine, again. It would be fine. Nothing was wrong.

That's what Ahsoka told herself every night before she slept since Order 66.

Nothing bad had ever happened. No one died. There is nothing wrong. The world is okay. Ahsoka told herself, even though she knew it was a lie.

There is no monster under the bed. There are no demons in the shadows. Your horrors don't haunt you. Everything is fine. She kept lying to herself.

"Everything is perfect." Ahsoka said out loud. She was hiding in the darkness, away from everyone.

"Nothingiswrongnothingiswrongnothingiswrong." Ahsoka muttered way too fast for anyone to understand her.

She began to clutch her head in her hands, and rock back and forth. Her breathing fastened suddenly, and whole body shook as it rocked. Back and forth, back and forth.

"I-it's all okay." Ahsoka whispered. She closed her eyes and let out a loud sob as those memories came back. "No!"

Her mind felt like a whirlpool. Constantly moving, and if you're stuck in it, you're unlikely to escape alive. It felt like a spinning pool of madness, an endless feeling of drowning. It felt like climbing up a rocky cliff, only to fall once you reach the top. It was painful. It wasn't real pain, but it might as well be. Anything would be better than this. Maybe this is what it feels like to be eaten alive by angry Rancors, or boiled in water. Ahsoka wouldn't know, for none of that has ever happened to her until now.

She bit her fingernails until they were nothing more than tiny stubs, and tensed up her muscles in fear. Anything could happen. Anyone could betray her, even herself.

"It's all okay." Ahsoka told herself.

Part of her felt like a glitch. Something that wasn't supposed to be there. A mistake. What was that mistake, though? She could never tell. It all felt too wrong. Too broken. It all felt like she was splitting into a million pieces and spread out across several rivers, all on different planets.

"Ahsoka?" Her only friend called from outside the room, making her flinch. "I heard crying. Are you okay?"

She hadn't noticed her tears. "Yes, I'm fine."

She didn't move until her friend left. She wiped away her tears, and looked up. The ghosts of her past, good and bad, were all looking back at her. The good ones were looking in shame and disappointment, it was clear on their faces, but the bad ones were different. They looked at her in triumph and happiness. It was obvious they wanted her broken. They got their wish.

Maybe if Ahsoka could go back in time she could've stopped things. Maybe if she made less mistakes she wouldn't have caused all the problems, but it was all a lie. It was all her fault. Even if she fixed things, they'd get broken all over again. It's what she did best, after all.

The galaxy was in shambles because of her. It had been a long time coming, but it was like filling up a glass of water all the way to the top. It over spills and causes a mess, and there's nothing you can do about it except stop. That's it. That's all.

Ahsoka got up. She wiped away her fresh tears, made herself look presentable, and she walked outside as if nothing happened. That's how it works, isn't it?

So that's that. I apologize if I hurt you in one way or another, I didn't mean to, and also I hope your day gets better. 

Have a good day/night or time on an alien planet