depression

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Hoshi opened her eyes.

"Unfortunate." she muttered.

"I hoped to not wake up, but that didn't happen, did it? Well," she groaned and turned her body to the other side. "There's nothing I can do about it."

Everyday she woke up, dreading existence. No matter how much she slept, the tiredness never went away. Hoshi stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling for an hour.

Miserable existence. Waking up everyday was dreaded. Why? Why did she have to wake up? Sleep only provided a fake sense of comfort. Sleep only distracts you from reality for a limited period of time. When your body forces you to wake up, you have to face life again all by yourself, and sleep won't save you then.

As Hoshi thought about this, rage built up inside her. The realisation that nothing could be done about her suffering made her angry. She wanted to bang her head on the wall, again and again. She wanted to punch something. She wanted to do something.

But was she able to?

Hoshi laid on the bed like that for another hour, before reaching out for her phone on the nightstand. Her phone was one of the things that distracted her. She scrolled through her phone mindlessly for a few hours.

She then sat up on her bed and played games on her phone. However, after some time, she couldn't bring herself to continue playing. Hoshi put down her phone and stared at the wall. Then she hugged her knees and curled up into a ball.

Hoshi's body leaned to one side and fell on the bed. Her eyes widened.

"It's coming. It's coming again"

Hoshi squeezed her eyes shut as she was brought back into the void once more.

Sadness. Miserable, painful sadness. That horrible hell. Sadness that makes your heart hurt. Sadness that swallows you and doesn't let you go. Sadness that makes everything seem pointless and meaningless.

Life is a mistake. Life is miserable. Life is meaningless. Life is painful. The only way to end her pain was to die. Death seemed like the only option to escape her misery. Should she die, or should she continue to suffer?

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