Never Be Tamed

Chapter 22: Rare

Habang tahimik na naghihintay sa corridor, we heard a commotion from the other side of the corridor. Zackary and some of the orders arrived at the hospital premises to check on the injured people and talk to the  staff.

Tahimik akong sumulyap sa gitna ng mga taong nakapaligid kay  Zackary. Kausap niya ang ilang hospital at apothecary staff. Mukhang pagod na siya. He's been up all night since the fire broke. I hope he  could a rest.

His gaze caught mine for a brief moment, bagay na hindi ko inaasahan since people were busy surrounding him. I open my lips and mouthed,  are you okay? He nodded for a brief second before he turned his  attention back to the staff.

Zack, have you allowed someone to have power over you? Have you loved someone?

It was already late afternoon nang makabalik kami ni Anabeth sa apothecary. The day has been long and draining, physically and emotionally.

The good thing was, mabilis gumalaw ang mga namumuno sa bayan. All of the injured residents were treated, the rest were relocated, at agad sinimulan ang pagaayos ng mga nasirang bahay. The only thing we  could do now was wait and hope for people's immediate recovery, specially Alexander.

Noong gabing 'yon hindi ako makatulog. My thoughts kept on drifting  to Zackary. A part of me was hoping someone would be there for him  to share his pain, but a tiny part hopep he would allow me to share his pain.

Kinabukasan, some of the senior staff went back to the hospital to check on the injured residents. Wala paring balita kung may malay na si Alexander.

While tending the plants in the garden, the ones we planted from my  first foraging with Anabeth, nabanggit niya ang bagay na hindi ko inaasahan.

"Ang ironic lang," she muttered, pulling the weeds from the ground without damaging the plants. "Alexander suffered dahil sa ginawang kasalanan ng pamilya niya... which basically isn't his real family in the first place."

Nakaupo kami sa mababang bangko sa luha nang mapalingon ako sa kanya. "They're not?"

"Narinig ko na ito dati sa school. Bali-balita noon na hindi talaga taga-Van Zanth si Alexander. Nabanggit na din ito kay Uncle Sebastian noon."

Anabeth nearly fall back after uprooting a stubborn weed from the ground.

"Hindi ko din alam kung paano siya napunta sa pamilya. Kaya noong nabalitaan na siya ang napipiling beta ng pamilya Van Zanth, may mga tumutol agad."

"I wonder where is his family..." I mumbled.

Nagkibit balikat si Anabeth. "It's impossible to know at this point, and knowing Alexander, kahit may alam pa siya, hindi mo 'yon maaasahan magsalita."

It took two days before Alexander woke up in the hospital and another day before anyone was allowed to visit him. We heard from the staff  that the first people who visited him was Sir Sebastian and the Van Zanths.

Umaasa ako na nakapagusap na sila ni Zanra. It must be hard for both of them to share each other's pain but not being able to share what they really feel for each other.

Hapon na nang bumisita kami ni Anabeth sa hospital. Muli naming nadatnan si Zanra sa corridor sa labas ng room ni Alexander. She was talking with a nurse na kagagaling lang sa loob ng kwarto. She was asking about Alexander.

Nilapitan namin si Zanra. It was a relief na kahit paano nagagawa na niyang ngumiti nang batiin kami. Bumaling si Anabeth sa kwarto ni Alexander.

"Bakit hindi ka pumasok sa loob?"

Agad siyang umiling. "Hindi na kailangan." Nagpalinga-linga siya, searching for an excuse. "Napadaan lang ako..." She bit her lips, her words fading. Zanra seems like she's been in the hospital since  morning.

Anabeth glanced at me and motioned for me to check on Alexander first. Tumango ako bago kumatok sa pintuan at iniwan ang dalawa sa  corridor.

Nadatnan ko si Alexander sa kwarto, nakapikit ang mga mata, pero  alam kong gising siya. Umupo ako sa silya sa tabi ng higaan. "Kumusta ang pakiramdam mo?"

Hindi siya sumagot, nanatiling nakapikit, tila ayaw ng kausap. Bumuntong hininga ako bago muling nagsalita. "Nasa labas si Zanra. Don't you want to see her?"

Huminga siya nang malalim, saka maingat na tumalikod mula sa'kin, making the bandages on his right shoulder exposed. Pinagmasdan ko  siya bago muling nagsalita.

"I grew up second guessing my every action, afraid to be severely punished. So I don't understand why you're deliberately punishing yourself and pushing people away."

Nanatiling siyang tahimik. "What are you afraid of Alexander?"

There was a long dragging silence between us. Noong akala ko wala akong makukuhang kahit anong sagot sa kanya, bigla siyang nagsalita nang paalis na ako.

"Hindi ako maaaring maging beta." Nanatili siyang nakatalikod sa'kin habang nakahiga. "My past would just haunt me and it could stain Zackary's leadership to have someone on his side who isn't trusted by people."

"You have all your term to prove them wrong," I whispered. "And Zanra... you care about her. Nakita ko 'yon noong hinanap mo siya sa kakahuyan."

He took a breath before facing me. "At? Anong magbabago? Anak parin siya ng alpha, isang Van Zanth." The words sounded bitter on his own tongue.

"She's a spoiled brat, pinapakisamahan ko lang siya dahil kay Zackary at sa pamilya niya. She could have anything she wants. I don't have anything..." Natigilan siya bago nagpatuloy. "I don't want anything to do with her."

Isang ingay ang pumukaw sa usapan namin. On the floor, oranges and apples rolled down our feet. Bahagyang nakabukas ang pinto, a tray clattered on the floor.

Agad akong tumayo para tignan kung sino ang natayo sa doorway.  Zanra stared back, her eyes wide and brimmed with tears. Natulala siya ng ilang segundo, her eyes fluttered, blinking, before stepped away from the room.

I glanced back at Alexander who tried to sit upright in bed, staring at  the retreating Zanra. Unti-unti niyang naikuyom ang kanyang mga  kamao, nagdadalawang isip. Alam kong pinipigilan niya ang kanyang sarili.

But the moment Zanra was out of sight, biglang hinugot ni Alexander  ang mga nakakabit na aparatu at karayom sa kanyang braso at kamay at tumayo para sundan ito.

Hindi ko siya pigilan, even if I had to knowing his body's current condition. Sumunod ako sa corridor kung saan nadatnan ko sila. Zanra was in tears while in Alexander arms.

In front of me was a rare sight... the willingness to sacrifice, to forget the fears, even if there was no guaranteed return of emotions. Would I feel something like this too?

***