I Need You To Feel Again

Afraid of Being Alone

"Alex no," Jack groaned, holding his hand tightly.

"Baby I have to go see my parents. I'll come by tomorrow I promise," Alex frowned, kissing him gently. He hated leaving Jack, especially like this but he knew he had to.

Jack began to cry for him and tried to pull him closer to stay but he was so tired he couldn't use barely any of his strength.

"I know baby it's okay I love you okay," Alex frowns, kissing him again and pulling up the covers for Jack.

Jack nods and kisses Alex and he barely remembers Alex leaving. He drifted off almost instantly and slept the whole day. He was exhausted, he barely slept enough and all he remembered was his mom waking him up at three pm.

"Jack, are you okay sweetie?" She frowned, putting a hand to his face.

"I'm okay where's Alex?" Jack asked.

"Right here Jacky," Alex said soothingly as he rubbed Jack's shoulder. He must have been here for almost the whole day, Jack felt bad that he was asleep the whole time.

Jack rubbed his eyes, and turned to Alex, and cuddled with him. He hadn't told Alex or his mom that the voices had come back, they weren't even voices, it's him speaking in his head. He didn't like it, he just wanted to go back to being happy with Alex. He wanted his dad gone, he was scared.

"Your mom made you soup. Are you hungry Jacky?" Alex asked him helping his boyfriend sit up.

"Yeah," Jack whispered, holding Alex's hand. The second he sat up, he felt so dizzy and nauseous at the same time. He hated when he felt like this, he tugged Alex's shirt a little when his mom left the room.

"What baby?" Alex asked him, stroking his hair.

"I don't feel good," Jack groans, starting to cry.

Alex nods, and grabs the wastebasket from the side of Jack's bed, and helps him sit up. "Let it out, it's okay."

Jack begins to puke, and it's almost clear barely showing food in it because he doesn't eat enough. He ends up dry heaving after a few minutes and starts to cry.

"It's okay baby shhh," Alex frowns. It hurts him to see Jack, the love of his life in so much pain.

Jack pushes the wastebasket away, and he lays next to Alex crying. He felt so tired, so numb it hurt. He couldn't feel anything, his head was spinning, and he was terrified.

"Hey hey, what is it?" Alex asked him, rubbing his back as he held him tight.

"I'm so tired," Jack groaned, hugging his boyfriend tight.

"I know baby we still have time to sleep okay? You'll feel better tomorrow I promise. After you eat something maybe you'll feel a little better?" Alex asked him.

"I don't know, I don't think it's that," Jack muttered.

"Oh okay, well what's going on baby?" Alex asked him. He had sensed something was going on because of last night, he had been so upset when Alex left and so tired in the car.

"I'm scared of my dad and they came back," Jack muttered as he grabbed his hand.

"I know baby he's scary and who came back?" Alex asked.

"The voice inside my head that makes me think bad things," Jack cried.

"Oh baby," Alex frowns, kissing his forehead.

Jack shook in Alex's arms, and he sobbed and Alex comforted his boy. He saw his mom walk in with the soup, and she looked worried but she knew Jack wouldn't talk to her.

"Here Jack," She frowned, putting it on his nightstand she also made Alex some since she assumed he was staying for dinner. "I called your parents Alex, they said you could stay if you want."

"That would be great thank you, Mrs. Barakat," Alex said, rubbing Jack's back. She left the room, and Alex and Jack ate dinner and Jack's color slowly started to return to his cheeks.

"I feel a little physically better," Jack whispered to Alex.

"That's a good baby," He smiles, kissing his forehead. "Do you need a bath or a shower or anything? The steam would help with your headache."

"I don't know, can we just take a shower in the morning and then like tonight we can cuddle and watch home alone?" Jack asked Alex.

"Yeah of course whatever you need," Alex smiled.

"Let's change your clothes though, okay?" Alex said as he sat up with Jack again.

Jack nodded, and he stood up weakly and Alex glided his boxers off of him and helped him step into a pair of flannel pajama pants and boxers. He took off Jack's shirt and put the hoodie he was wearing on him. Jack smiled a little bit, and he looked at Alex as he stripped down to his boxers, and he ended up just wearing some of Jack's pajamas. He got back into bed with him and cuddled with him as they watched home alone. Alex found it adorable how Jack just loved this movie so much, and it made him so happy. They ended up watching Home Alone 2 since it was only like 5 when it ended. The boys ended up playing video games after that until it was like 9 pm. Jack's mom came in after that, and she gave Jack his pills that he left downstairs. He took them, but Jack could see how much he hated doing that. Alex kissed his forehead when his mom walked out, and Jack smiled at Alex.

"Are you tired?" Alex asked Jack.

"A little but I'm still a little bit awake. Maybe we can put a CD in or something?" Jack asked.

"That sounds good, what do you want to listen to?" Alex asked getting up to get to Jack's cd collection. "

"You choose," Jack smiled, laying on the bed looking at his boyfriend. Alex laughed and nodded, and looked through Jack's CDs but his eyes stopped at one blank CD labeled sunshine boy.

"What's this?" Alex asked, holding the CD in its case up.

"Oh shit Uhm you weren't supposed to find that but anyways I made a mixtape for you," Jack smiles.

Alex blushes a little and bit his lip slightly. "Can I listen to it?" He asked.

"Put it on, baby," Jack said, laying back down on the bed.

Alex pulled out the piece of paper that was in the case, and it read the songs which consisted of all blink-182. He laughed and kissed Jack, and put the mixtape in and the music started to play. Alex never thought he could fall in love with someone so fast, and so hard. He was so worried about Jack all the time it hurt sometimes. This mixtape meant the world to him though. He loved it, every single second of it. When it ran the whole way through, they were almost both half asleep.

"I got it, Lex," Jack mumbled as he got up and put the cd away and the hum of the CD player soon faded away. He turned off the light and got into bed with Alex he knew tomorrow was gonna be a long day.