Beyond the Universe

Apricity

People say that every planet has its sun to give them warmth,
but for me, that's not the case.

Hello, I am Uranus and this is my not so-love story,
my love story that's full of travesty.

A few years ago, I used to have the sun that I used to revolve around on,
She would always
warm me up during the coldest days.
She was my constant,
but for her, I was the planet that's not worth her time.

Who would love a cold planet like me? No one.

For everyone, I was distant
and unsympathetic.
That's the reason why they
avoid me, they wouldn't
want to be polluted
with every part of me.

I know I shouldn't invalidate Neptune's feelings because
he is somehow like me
but this story does not
revolve around him, it's
made for me.

Back to the story,
Many thoughts came to
mind while revolving,
I realized how pointless
it is for me to orbit the sun,
and how much Sol loves giving her warmth to the Earth.

Earth is the most respected among the solar system,
The perfect planet to ever exist; Everyone envied him,
Including me.

"You told yourself to stop going, but here you are still."
I heard someone say,
I looked from behind
and saw Neptune with
a small smile plastered
on his face.

"I did stop, but not permanently; I couldn't bear living without a single touch of warmth in me, stopping forever will hurt me."

"That's why you only orbit around her once every 84 years?"
He asked, and I replied, "Exactly."

"But why 84 years? Why not 10? Why not 5?"

That question made my breath hitch,
It wasn't easy for me to
answer, but it also wasn't
too hard for me not to.

Neptune then looked
at me softly,
He stared at me as if
his eyes were telling me that
I shouldn't answer if I am
not prepared to share
anything to him yet.

But I still gave him a response,

"Because 84 years is what it takes for me to take one step forward from forgetting."

I know that there is no such shit as a travesty in any
part of the story.
There is no 'something' that's shocking or upsetting
because, in the first place,
I already knew that things
will always end up
and go this way.

Although my heart is,
and will always be harmed
and affected by the outcome,
I still have to accept reality.

I can never change
the fact of you not loving me
nor can you change
the fact that you're in love
with him.

"Accepting is a headway to fasten the process of healing,
and healing can be the gateway for forgetting."

I am thankful that you became my Apricity even for a short moment.

I told you that you were my constant, but for now
let me pass that title
to myself, and give that to my future constant later on if
I ever find one that'll not just treat me as a planet from
the solar system but treat me
as their whole universe.

Because that's what
I deserve. And never
will I settle for
something that's
not meant for me,
never again.
And you should try doing the same, because you also
deserve better.
We all do.