Reasons To Stay; Sapnap x OC

Chapter 8

I watched his typing bubble disappear and reappear.

Never mind, don’t worry about it

I turned off my phone, and decided to listen to Charlie and ignored it. I threw on pajamas and  pulled my hair up into a bun before falling asleep easily.

“Leah, wake up!” 

I bolted upwards, my initial thought being that the building was on fire, until my head collided with another and both of us fell backwards with a groan. I rubbed my head, groaning.

“Nick, what are you doing here?” I grumble, sitting up slowly.

“We’re going on a date today and you overslept,” 

The plans came back quickly. We were doing a date idea from tik tok but in our own way.

After my shower, and I got dressed and went to the kitchen where the hats I had set out the night before sat. I won the rock paper scissors, and slipped my hand into the hat. Wherever I pulled would be the place we would spend 2 hours at.

“A library,” I smirk. Nick made a slight face before grabbing his wallet and waiting for me at the door.

“This is good,” I say, getting into the car, “There’s a book I’ve been wanting to check out for a while now,”

I drove us to the library. 

“Are we going to the big one?” Nick asked.

“No, I don’t like that one, there’s a small quiet one by a lake and it's really pretty, we’re going there,” 

We arrived at the small, quaint library. We walked hand in hand, and I led Nick over to the fiction section. I pulled a Stephen King book off the shelf, and checked it out. Nick split off to do his own thing.

I walked over to the couch by the window overlooking the lake, looking out before opening my book and starting to read.

Nick was right. The ravioli at this place was really good. He had picked, and took me to some fancy place and the food was really good, and so was their wine, or maybe it wasn’t? It was my first time trying alcohol but it was pretty good.

We were almost back to my house when my phone rang, the caller ID being Noah. 

“Hey Noah!” I said, almost too happily.

“Leah, Mom swore she…” His voice faltered. He had clearly been crying.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Mom swore she told you but she didn’t, and I think Charlie tried to text it to you but he backed out, so now I have to tell you.” 

He paused and I held my breath.

“Nico had terminal cancer,” He said it so quickly and cut off with a sob I couldn’t tell what he said for a moment, and when I did I signaled for Nick to pull over.

“What do you mean had? Terminal cancer can't be treated.” My breath caught in my throat as I got out of the car realizing what Noah meant.

Tears welled in my eyes but I couldn’t believe it to be true. As if Noah read my mind he said the words I was dreading hearing.

“He’s dead Leah,”

“Leah!” Nico shouted, chasing after me in the yard, only a week before I left for Houston.

He fell and I caught him before he hit the ground. He crawled into my lap and I wrapped my arms around his torso, hugging him.

“You gonna miss me?” I asked

“So much Lee-Lee. Is this the last year?” He asked.

“No one more after this, then I can be around you all the time, and take care of you when you’re sick.”

“Promise?”

I nodded my head.

“You make the tea that makes me feel better the best out of everyone else,”
“That’s because I'm amazing.”

“Leah the doctors tried so hard but he died.” I heard him sob.

“Why wouldn’t she tell me!” I shouted. “I really didn’t deserve to know? That my own brother is dying. That he’s dead!” My tears spilled down my face and I felt Nick try to hug me but I pushed him away.

“He found out you didn’t know and his last words were, ‘Well tell her so she can be here by tomorrow when I die,’ and he died a minute after. Leah I’m so so sorry no one told you I had no idea-”

I hung up.

Nick had turned off the car and I looked around at the area we were in. 

“Leah?”

“Nico’s dead. I always fought to keep my life going so I could see him and his smile when I came home for holiday breaks. Now I have nothing to look forward to when I go,”

“Then don’t go. I mean they have to love you in order to tell you he passed or-”

“But they couldn’t tell me when my dad died! They couldn’t tell me Nico had an incurable cancer! They didn’t tell me until he died! They don’t love me, Nick. They don’t love me because I tried to do my own thing. They don’t love me because they never did. They never told me because they thought I didn’t need to know. And that’s why I hurt! That's why the one night when you found me hanging over a river, that’s why I was there. Because I wasn’t loved until you found me. I wasn’t loved until Liam found me and even he lost the love he once had. So when will you lose the love you have for me? It’ll happen eventually. Tomorrow? In a week? Or has it already happened and you, like everyone else, don't have the courage to tell me? My feelings have been shattered so damn much I don’t have feelings anymore. So if you need to say you’ve fallen out of love then say it now, when I might as well just hurt more than I already am.”

“Leah of course I love you-”

“Liar,”

I ran off, letting my feet take me to a place I knew, and had been before. I hadn’t even known we were near here, my feet just led me here by instinct. It must have been all the times I bailed, until the time when I didn’t, and was saved. 

“Leah!” 

My hands gripped the bar, my feet sore from running in converse. My baby blue dress fluttering slightly in the wind. 

He was crying behind me. “Do you really want to?” He asked, voice breaking.

I looked at him over my shoulder, then back at the water below, then finally back to Nick and nodded. 

“There’s nothing left, and please don't pull any of the ‘i’m right here and I love you’ bullshit on me because it won’t work,”

I could tell my words pained him, and cut like a knife through his skin. But he stood up just a bit straighter and wiped his tears with his sleeve. That’s one thing I admired about him. He’s never had toxic masculinity. 

“Then go, if there’s nothing I can do anymore, I won’t try to stop you,” 

His green eyes were filled with sadness and grief. “After all,” His voice broke and faltered, and he gave up being strong, letting the tears go and he fell to his knees.
“After all, I’ve never been one to back out of deals. And we had a deal, so now I need to hold up my end,”  

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him until I was over the railing about to let go.

“Leah.”

My green eyes met his. “Just remember Reason Number One for me?” 

I held out my arms and let him come up to me for a hug and we hugged for the last time. He broke off, and I lost my footing.

The last thing I heard was the pained sounding shout of my name and the heartbreaking wail that followed.