Internet Friends || Michael Clifford ✓

Chapter 18

"How exactly do you plan on doing that?"

Michael slowly pulled my face closer to his until I could feel his breath on my lips. He looked into my eyes as if to confirm if it was okay but I was too stunned to even move. It felt as if all the air had left my lungs and it hurt to try and breathe. He gave a small nod before finally letting our lips to touch and it had been everything I had hoped for. But I was now even more angry than I had been earlier.

"What the fuck, Michael?" I asked, pulling away quickly, too quickly for my liking but I didn't want to keep being pushed around.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted this. I thought you felt the same way," Michael said hurt, I wanted to fall back into his arms, kissing him repeatedly, saying it was okay but it wasn't.

He couldn't hook up with two other girls at our birthday party and expect me to be fine with him trying to do the same thing now.

"I don't want to be some type of fucked up rebound to you. I was so excited to spend our birthday together but then you ended up sucking the face off of two girls right in front of me in the same night and expect me to be fine when I know you assumed that I liked you. I don't want to be considered a friend that hooks up with you and I don't need you messing with my feelings just so that you can feel good about yourself. I feel weak emotionally when you do stuff like this and I feel unsure about what I'm feeling. I hate when one day you're telling me you love me but then you pull this shit. I feel used. I don't want any of this to happen but this seems to be the only thing that you're doing. You only want to see me as a friend but it fucks me over when I think you mean everything you say and I'm falling for you," I rambled, my voice started getting louder as I talked and halfway through my rant I was yelling. My final sentence was mumbled though, I didn't want him to really hear me.

I had just gotten all of my emotions out and my heart felt as if it were racing a mile a minute. I never spoke about someone when I liked them and I guess I never had the balls to tell them but here I was, telling every thought I've had about Michael in the past five days, to his face.

"I promise, I do like you," Michael said tugging on my arm as I got off of the bed. I didn't want to be near him at the moment, wanting to leave desperately, but I had no idea where to go.

"You don't make it seem like it, one moment you're cuddly and want to be around me and you're placing kisses on my neck but then the next moment you're forgetting about me and you're making out with another girl that you don't even know. And I don't know what disgusts me more, the fact that you have treated me like shit in the 3 out of the 5 days I've been here or the fact that I'm okay with it," I sighed, I felt worn out from yelling a bit.

Michael had tried to pull my back as I had been talking but I started hitting his chest for him to let me go. He didn't even flinch. He seemed almost amused at my meltdown and just stood there as he let me keep trying to hit him.

After uselessly trying to show Michael how much anger I felt towards him, I fell to the floor with tears slowly going down my face and Michael hadn't moved to try and calm me down. I really hated him sometimes.

"Why are you calling me out for hooking up with a few people when you hooked up with Calum a few days ago? You know I was only a room over but you still had to seek comfort from someone else. You know how I feel about you two near each other," Michael said, his eyes were angry and his pupils were dilated. Why was he angry? I should be the only one angry.

I looked up at him with a look of disbelief on my face. I had only hooked up with two people in my life and he probably hooks up with two people every three days.

"No, that's the thing Michael, I don't exactly know how you feel since you never tell me. I'm always having to assume things about you and you never make things clear. You blame Calum for everything but he's been the one here for me this whole vacation and yeah sure, maybe we made out, but that isn't exactly a major hookup and it's annoying that you think I'm a slut since it happened. I talked to him because he was the only person I knew in the whole room and you had already ditched me for another girl. I'm sorry if I didn't want to spend my 18th birthday watching a real life porno starring my best friend," I said, almost calmly. Too calmly.

I was trying to stay calm, I didn't want to say anything I'd regret in the heat of the moment, I'm pretty sure I already had but I didn't want to make it worse. I did it so often and if I didn't, I would have so much more friends. I didn't really have a filter and it really screwed me over. I'm pretty sure if Michael and I were probably not going to be on speaking terms for awhile after this but I just needed space at the moment.

I wiped at the few tears that were still on my cheeks before finally standing up and grabbing my phone off of the bedside table.

"Now if you will excuse me, I need some personal space. I will come back whenever I am ready or you are ready to truly talk," I said. I left the room, Michael staying quiet as I left. His eyes followed me but I paid no mind to them as I left the room.

I really needed to call Calum so that he could come pick me up. I didn't want to be around Michael and that upset me. I flew twenty hours to see him and we spent most of the time fighting.

☼☼☼

Hello all of my lovely readers, I was finally able to update after probably the longest week of my life. I feel really tired and very emotionally drained. I have spring break this week so I think I'm going to update once or twice more along with my other stories (which you should read, please. I beg you). Thank you so much for 24k reads, I love you all so much. I never thought this book would ever make it this far and I love you all so much. Thank you. This chapter is kind of mehhhhh but I'm tired and I wanted to update quickly. Finally, I'm thinking of doing a character ask at 30k reads so help me confirm that I should do this. Okay, I love you all so much and thank you for reading this. Xx

~_HeartbreakHemmings