Can't help it, I want you. (Russell Adler x Fem!Reader)

Decorations and suspicions.

"It's okay. You're just trying to help." I smiled weakly, opening my eyes. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion. I admired his beauty, then I realized his aviators had come off. His eyes were beautiful. So beautiful, I got lost in them to the point where he was calling my name. "O-Oh.. Sorry." I turned my head, shielding my red face. "I said can I see your hands?" He held his out. "Sure." My hand landed on his palm, another cotton ball touching my own palm. My teeth gritted as I gripped onto his upper thigh tightly. A low chuckle left his mouth. His hand moved to grab a band aid as my release loosened. I took a deep breath in and out. Then he had placed the band aid on my palm. "Sorry!" I stuttered, realizing my hand was on his thigh. "Habit.. You know, grab onto something tightly when-..? Never mind." I was flustered.

"It's okay, I understand." He had rubbed the alcohol on my other hand once more, as he held my clean and bandaged hand in his other, allowing me to grip it tightly. After another minute or so, he patched up my hand.
"All done. Feel better?" He looked at me.
"Yes, thank you, and I'm sorry." I looked up at him, with a sad face.
"For what?" He questioned.
"The trouble, I apologize. I meant to get here on time, ...unharmed..." My mood began to lower, but he had me giggling after he laughed lowly at my remark.
This man was truly nice. Why would Bell treat him this way? A "bullet wound?"
He could obviously tell something was off.

"Where is Bell?" I hesitated to ask.
His face dropped as he looked down at his desk.
"I-I'm not sure.." His answer was short, and sounded almost fearful.
We had been awkwardly silent for a few moments before I cut the ice.
"So.. what did you call me in here for?" I rubbed the back of my neck.
"Oh, yes, um.." He stuttered. "A lot, actually.." Adler continued, taking a deep breath. "So.. I actually don't know where Bell is. She usually wonders off around this time, after berating me during the car ride." Jesus..
"I'm sorry."
Really?
Really (Y/N)? Stupid stupid me.. That's all I could say?
"Yeah.." He avoided my eyes.
"Tell me about her."
"Bell..?" He looked up, still avoiding my gaze.
"Yeah." I nodded.

"Well... We met in '81 at an airstrip in Turkey when I rescued her from a Perseus agent that had shot her and left her for dead due to.. 'unwanted competition.'" He finger signaled. "To say the least, it wasn't pretty. We had actually met later on, but only in her mind. During that time, we brainwashed her, replacing memories of hers with mine." He took a drag of his cigarette that was previously lit, blowing it through his nose, away from my face. "After a little bit, we had grown close and become attracted to each other. But, we had to keep it professional. Especially considering the circumstances, with her being EX-KGB and all. Well.. not really EX, but you get my point." I nodded, leaning back in my chair. "Naturally, she was taken back to Langley and that's where she was brainwashed. Fucked up, but it worked. Got us to where we are now." His voice was stagnant. "One day, she had done her job. But for reasons the CIA witholds that's too many to explain right now, she had to go. And I wasn't going to lock her up forever. As difficult as a decision as it was for me to make, we had to terminate her. Entirely. And I was the one chosen to do it. So I did. Or at least, I tried." He choked back on his words. It was almost as if a lump had gotten caught in his throat.

"She had been found alive. Barely alive, but still alive. They saved her, she came back for her revenge. We fell in love all over again. It was like she was her old self again. Then a few months ago, she turned out like.. Well... Her." His cigarette swiftly and smoothly moved from his lips to his ash tray. I had no words. What he did was fucked up, but what she did was just as bad. She had returned to make him fall in love with her again, as if it wasn't already a difficult choice. And now she's doing this? It'd be hard to get over that, but if anything I'd just kill him. Considering her skills and all, but I guess he does deserve the torture in a way. "Well.. That's uhm-.. Interesting to say the least." I said awkwardly, leaning foward.
The room fell silent as he sat up in his chair.