Hide Your Fires

8: I'm Sorry

“No,” I tell Matt.

“But-“

“No.”

“Hal, please,” Matt says quickly before I can cut him off again.

“No,” I say again with a yawn. I’m just getting home from work on Friday night so I’m pretty tired and I don’t feel like arguing with Matt about this. “You’re staying home tonight.”

“Why?” He wonders in exasperation. Through the window, I can see Tate’s car near the curb as he waits for Matt but he should just drive away now because there’s no way that I’m going to let Matt out again tonight after what happened last week when I had to go get him from the last party drunk and smoking a joint.

“Because last week, you were drunk and doing drugs when I had to drag you out of the party and I’m not letting you do that again,” I tell him with a shake of my head. “I’m not that stupid, you know.”

“I won’t drink,” He tells me, leaning against the couch as he desperately tries to convince me to let him to go this party.

“Go watch TV in your room or something, and don’t wake up Jude,” I instruct him. “And if you ask me again if you can go out tonight, I’ll… I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll be very irritated. Just go, Matthew.”

“Where are you going?” He asks me when he realizes that I’m headed for the front door.

“I’m going to go tell Tate that you’re in for the night,” I inform him. “You better be in your room by the time that I get back.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, I leave out the front door and down the driveway to the curb where Tate is parked. I’m still wearing my heels from work and my flowing green dress that stops just above my knees and it’s kind of chilly out, so I hug my arms close to me as I walk.

“Matt’s not coming out tonight,” I tell him through a rolled down window. “So you can go on now without him.”

“Oh? Why is that?” He asks me curiously.

“Because he can’t. Have a good night,” I say before standing up straight and turning to go back inside.

“Your family is weird,” Tate calls out the window to me.

I turn to look at him and then say, “You have no idea,” And then I walk back inside. Walking down the hallway, I hear Matt’s TV on in his room as I turn to the left and go into my own bedroom to get dressed into something a little bit more comfortable. Sweat pants and a t-shirt. After throwing my hair into a messy bun, I walk back into the living room and grab some ice cream from the freezer before going into the living room and plopping down on the couch to watch TV for a while because although I’m physically exhausted, I still don’t want to go to sleep yet.

It’s relaxing to have a few hours after work every night to just sit here and watch TV instead of having to be up on my feet cooking a meal or reminding one of my brothers to do homework or making sure that Jude is wearing underwear or keeping Matthew out of trouble. I’m just spending some time with a TV and some mint chocolate chip ice cream and it feels so peaceful.

I’m sitting in front of the TV for a while, probably about two or three hours, until it’s three o’clock in the morning and I’m dozing off a little bit to an 80s movie when I’m jumped awake by a loud knock on the front door.

Suddenly alarmed, I stand up to my feet and cautiously walk over to the locked door. Who the hell is knocking on my door at three in the morning?!

Peeking through the small window on the front door, I get my answer. Tate Conner.

Tate isn’t alone though, because there’s a drooping blonde fourteen year old leaning against Tate’s shoulder. Matthew is obviously drunk and immediately, my caution turns into pure anger.