The Dying of the Light

Chapter 8

To your shock, the evening passed by uneventfully.

You had fully expected Gojo to come barging into your room, sure that Megumi or one of the others would have reported back to him after your outburst. If Gojo knew you'd faced a couple of special grades and kept it from him... damn. But you realized (and not without some degree of gratitude) that your friends were protecting your secret. For now.

As for Megumi?

You curled deeper into your sheets, feeling the tears well up. It had felt great to purge some of the negative emotions during your tirade, but Megumi had not deserved your anger. You were really hurt by his words, but you knew they were motivated by his love and fear for you. The reality was that he was right to suspect you had every opportunity to save yourself but didn't – and while it made you crazy, the feelings of betrayal towards him were unwarranted in light of the truth. Still, you (irrationally) felt he should be on your side, take your word for it, and he hadn't.

What a pickle.

You knew you had to fix this somehow. Megumi was one of the only things helping you hold on to your already tenuous grasp of sanity. You loved him so much, and you hated the fact that you'd so clearly hurt him.

Still...wouldn't it be...easier this way? Easier for him? Cutting him off now....in case...

In case...

You didn't want to think about it. You didn't want to, but you knew there may come a time when you'd have to. Now that a day or so had passed, you had to think about what would happen if the curse was right about you. If...the Plan B didn't work.

And what then?

What then....

Your alarm was set to go off in a few minutes. You had been laying awake most of the night, contemplating your sad reality. Until you had a plan in place for what to do, you had to play it cool and try to go back to living as normally as you could. Although you were physically feeling somewhat better, your body still ached fiercely and your emotions were chaotic. You couldn't stop trembling no matter what you tried to do to calm your mind. Heaving a sigh, you rolled over, knowing you had to pull it together before you faced your friends.

With a muttered curse you hit the alarm before it could go off, silencing your phone, and you made your way slowly to the bathroom. You undressed while being careful to avoid the mirror. You couldn't stand the sight of yourself right now, as your disgust was so strong as to make your skin crawl, and seemed to be growing stronger as the hours passed by. You scrubbed your body in the shower as though you could shuck your outer layer with a little elbow grease, as though your skin could dissolve into a fresh, untainted layer if only you scrubbed hard enough. But after a time, and with your body stinging painfully from the assault, you gave up, got out and dressed yourself in your school uniform.

Usually by this time, Megumi would be at your door, ready to walk down to the cafeteria with you for breakfast. You bit your lip, knowing today would be different. You'd be shocked if he even looked in your direction for a while. You knew you had to fix things, and you prayed he would hear your apology. If Megumi couldn't forgive you, you didn't know how you'd be able to go on.

With a storm cloud hovering over your head, you bit back tears and hurried to ready for class. You'd already spent an inordinate amount of time in the shower and you wanted to see your friends to try to make things right before school started.

You grabbed your bag and put on your shoes, thinking of ways to apologize to Yuji and Nobara for your outburst. Your head had started pounding again and your muscles were screaming against the rapid movements you'd made, and you remembered despairingly that the day had only just begun. You grabbed one of the painkillers Shoko had left for you, popping it into your mouth. It would make you sleepy, but you knew you wouldn't be able to walk the long distances between buildings on campus without it. Just as you were about to open the door, there was a gentle knocking.