Dimitri's Point of View in Vampire Academy (VA fans) (Book 1)

Part 13

"Guarding partner." I clarified. Not wanting her to get the wrong idea, I had to stop these feelings that had started between us.

"Yup." Spiridon agreed. Oblivious to the tension around him, he went on to explain how guardian pairs worked. Guardians were assigned to Moroi based on importance. Two was a common grouping. One guardian stayed close to the Moroi while the other stood back and kept an eye out. They were known as near and far guards.

"You'll probably always be a near guard." I told her. "You're female and the same age as the princess. You can stay close to her without attracting any attention."

"And I can't ever take my eyes off her." She noted. "Or you."

Spiridon laughed and elbowed me. "You've got a star student there. Did you give her a stake?"

Yeah she was a fast learning student. But not fast enough. "No. She's not ready." And she wasn't, there was still a lot that she had to learn, aside from combat.

"I would be if someone would show me how to use one." She argued. I knew she thought it was unfair considering that every guardian, including myself, in this van had a stake and a gun on their persons.

"More to it than just using the stake." I said, trying to calm her sudden anger down. "You've still got to subdue them. And you've got to bring yourself to kill them."

"Why wouldn't I kill them?" Her voice was rising in confusion and curiosity.

I knew what I was about to say may affect her life one day. She could easily die if she didn't master this rule. "Most Strigoi used to be Moroi who purposely turned. Sometimes they're Moroi or dhampirs turned by force. It doesn't matter. There's a strong chance you might know one of them. Could you kill someone you used to know?"

She took some time to consider this, her face lined with deep thought. Eventually she glanced back up at me. "I guess so. I'd have to, right? If it's them or Lissa..."

"You might still hesitate. And that hesitation could kill you. And her."

"Then how do you make sure you don't hesitate?" She looked up at me as if I held all the answers in the world. And right then and there I wish I did have that knowledge.

I decided to go with what I told myself before and after every kill. "You have to keep telling yourself that they aren't the same people you knew. They've become something dark and twisted. Something unnatural. You have to let go of attachments and do what's right. If they have any grain of their former selves left, they'll probably be grateful."

"Grateful for me killing them?" She asked her face full of confusion.

"If someone turned you into a Strigoi, what would you want?" I asked.

She looked at me, the same confusion in her eyes. She said nothing, so I pushed further.

"What would you want if you knew you were going to be converted into a Strigoi against your will? If you knew you would lose all sense of your old morals and understanding of what's right and wrong? If you knew you'd live the rest of your life--your immortal life--killing innocent people? What would you want?"

The van had grown silent by this point. Rose continued to stare at me. And it was then that I had realized why we had this attraction, good looks aside. She had taken becoming a guardian seriously, as I had, understanding all the life-and-death consequences. No one her age understood the things she did. Rose had a sense of how life and death and good and evil worked amongst each other, and so did I. Which was hard to grasp, even for guardians who were twice her age.

She and I might have to put our fun on hold. We might not be able to live the lives we wanted for ourselves. But that was the way it had to be. We understood each other, understood that we had others to protect. And making decisions like this one was part of that.