The Mark of a Beta

forty

He manages to hold on, and he is rushed inside the large infirmary of the pack house. I never leave his side, unable to even think of torturing the one responsible. Typically, my first thought would be of revenge, violence, payback; Now, all that is on my mind is Cooper and his recovery. I know that Brenden is in our pack cells, and I'll deal with him after Cooper recovers or after he breathes his last breath.

A day or two pass. I'm not sure of the timeline, but I know Grayson has brought me food and water. I manage to eat small amounts, but I'm not interested in food.

I want to touch Cooper, hold his hand, speak to him. However, I am trapped in my wolf form. I cannot control myself, and I cannot shift back no matter how much of a conscious effort I make. I try to lean my head on his arm once, but I immediately draw back.

I cannot feel our bond. I cannot feel his pain. I cannot feel a single thing except grief and utter devastation.

And wrath.

About a day later is when Cooper is intubated. He was breathing a bit ragged, and the doctor thought it best to help him breathe better. He claims that it will help him recover faster.

If Cooper is going to die, I need him to do it soon. I cannot keep going on like this, trapped in limbo. I need him to fight, but he's so weak that I know that I'm asking the impossible. I cannot do this. I cannot watch him deteriorate, his eyes sunken in, his complexion turning pale.

I cannot do this without him. The one person that can draw me out of my dark thoughts, hold me after a night terror and ease me back to bed, and make me laugh in practically any situation is hanging onto life by a thread.

This is my fault. I knew better than to allow Cooper to go on this field trip. I let my emotions cloud my judgement. I was weak and gave into Cooper's request, in fear that he would begin to despise me if I became more controlling over his life. Since I met him, every single decision I made was factoring in his wants and needs. If he wakes up, I will not let him out of my sight ever again. I will cherish him, treasure him, spoil him. Anything in the world he wants, he'll have it.

The next day, I hear the door swing open and a pair of sneakers slightly squeaking against the linoleum floors the closer they get to Cooper. I know it's Grayson, which is the only reason I don't snap at his proximity to my mate.

I don't take my eyes off of Cooper as I see Grayson sit down on the floor next to me in my peripheral vision. He doesn't say anything for a while, and I don't understand what he's doing just sitting down next to me until he speaks.

"I'm so sorry, Axel," Grayson apologizes, a grating response because he had nothing to do with my mate's injury. I despise his pity. I choose not to respond, instead stretching my paws to combat my lack of movement.

"He hasn't had a seizure today. Maybe that means he's getting better-"

What are you doing here? I speak through mindlink, unwilling to hear his hopeful comments. He will only make things worse when Cooper doesn't come out of this alive.

Grayson looks at me, and the weight of his gaze compels me to look over at him for a moment before going right back to staring at my mate. Grayson looks tired, most likely working overtime in my absence.

"What the hell do you mean 'what am I doing here'? I'm checking on you and Cooper. He looks a little better today, doesn't he?" He says this with a sense of false hope. I know this because Cooper looks exactly the same as he did yesterday, except now he has a breathing machine to breathe for him. I would classify that as him looking worse.

I can't do this, I say through the mindlink.

Grayson frowns. "Can't do what?"

I can't exist without him.