Ours is the Darkness

Make Up Your Mind

Author's note

Oopsies been a little while since my last update but her you go. I'm also working on a non-fanfic currently too.

JJ

Emily refuses meet my eyes. Instead her brown eyes dart around the room as we wait for the rest of the team to arrive here. This is a stark contrast to the light energy that we had between us just two hours ago on our drive here. Emily is caring and compassionate to the children that we encounter on our cases but the way she behaved around Makenna was bizarre. We all have our designated roles in situations where we may need to talk down an unsub and when it is to do with children Emily should naturally defer to me.

Perhaps she thinks that I am not ready to be in the field. It has only been a few months since I came back from the Pentagon and she returned from London but I thought she trusted in my abilities. It could be that I am overthinking it the same way that I overthink everything that she does. The way she brushes her hair out of her face, the way her brown eyes glow when the sun lands upon them. It is my job to analyse the behaviours of others and it is clear to me that she has feelings for me so why will she not act on them? I made sure to slip my bisexuality into conversation last time we were on a girls night when Tara mentioned she was queer and gave me the perfect opening for this conversation. Emily already knew this of course we have spend hours in bars together checking people out but that was when my feelings towards her were completely platonic. Recently, I have been getting bolder. I will through compliments around here and there and hope that she reciprocates but I do not have the confidence to do anything irreversible like confess my feelings. It would ruin our friendship and cause a divide in the team if she refused to work with me.

"Okay my furry little beauties, there is not much about Makenna on the system past the age of 8" Penelope relays over the phone to us as we huddle around a round table in the local precinct, "she grew up in downtown Baltimore with her mother and elder sister, Dad moved away when she was 2 never to be seen again, school records state she was involved in some bullying of students, nothing out of the ordinary , nothing that signals future attempted mass shooter". "But absolutely nothing after her Mom took her out of school at the age of 8 and presumably dropped off the face of the earth".

"How can there be nothing, she must have been to the doctors or the dentist , search those records" Alvez retorts.

"Oh wow newbie , I usually just dislike you but today you have graduated to the standard of hate because you constantly speak when not spoken to. I am the all knowing and all seeing , in fact, you can call me Nostradamist because I already checked those records and there is nothing" Penelope seethes. If no one is onto my feelings for Emily they have got to be onto Penelope's feelings for Luke and vice versa. Hopefully, if everyone is watching them then they are not watching us. What a life saver.

"He just doesn't know you like I know you baby girl, forgive him" Derek chuckles.

"For you my melted chocolate God, anything" Penelope purrs " you got saved this time newbie but next time Derek will not be there to save your ass".

"Can we get back to business, if this girl has no records she could have been being trained since the age of 8 to carry out whatever mission she is on" Hotch says gaining the control of the room.

" The other girl didn't hesitate to shoot at us when we saw her, even though there were two guns trained at us, maybe the potential of suicide is part of the training " Emily chimes in leaning back against her seat. Her hair is up in a ponytail with her bang s framing each side of her phase. I told her a couple of weeks back that that was my favourite style that she had and I noticed a considerable increase in her wearing her hair like that".

"We need to interrogate her , the social worker is here now , Prentiss and JJ should do it, she responded positively to you in the field and new faces may scare her into further silence. In the meantime I want Garcia to keep trying to trace the parents and sister, Morgan and Lewis head the morgue and see if we can find anything out about our Jane Doe, the rest of us will stay here and keep trying to build a profile". On Hotch's command we stand up to go and fulfil our tasks, me and Emily heading into the observation room so we can profile Makenna through the glass before we head up. There's no way Emily can avoid me now , she is going to have to get out of this mood she is in.

"Hey" I say as I grab her arm before she heads into the interrogation room " what's going on with you , you've been weird ever since we were on the crime scene".

"It's nothing" Excellent, she is compartmentalising.

"It's not nothing Emily, you can't lie to me like you can lie to the others, you think I even need to be in the same room as you to know that something is wrong with you?" I strengthen the hold of my hand on my arm and she looks away from my intense stare.

"Okay" She says as she meets my eyes again. "Recently, I've been thinking about what it would be like to have my own family. When we saw Meg and Kate the other when we went to Rossi's dinner party, I was jealous of their bond. I'm tired of going home to nothing all the time, so when I saw her standing there I thought about what I would feel if that was my child".

I look back at her shocked and she must register my emotions in her eyes ad she pulls back her arm and tries to walk past me .

"No Emily just wait. I understand what you're saying, I feel the same. I think about the same thing, it's natural, especially in the line of work that we're in when we see families ripped apart on a daily basis. It makes you think more about what you want to do with your life and who you wanna spend it with. But you can't compartmentalise these things all the time. You can speak to me about anything, I'm your friend" I say grabbing onto her hand. Wishing I could have added girl before the friend.

"I know" she replies, looking embarrassed. Emily rarely shares her emotions or thoughts so candidly, her confession caught both of us off guard and neither of us know what to do with the new energy in the room. I feel the walls she keeps us between us slowly crumbling and I can not help but to hold out hope.

Emily clears her throat "Um we should go and eh do the interrogation"

"Yeah of course" I reply, leading the way out of the room.