[16]

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by wavybvby

by wavybvby

"morning" i said to brayden, who just started to wake up and come back to earth. i hardly slept a blink last night but it didn't matter. "how are you feeling?" i asked him. he stared blankly at me for a few minutes, processing what i was saying.

"what the fuck happened?" he asked. "you don't remember?" i asked, concerned. "i know gus beat the shit out of me. what's wrong with me? how'd i get here?" he asked. "i'll let the doctor explain your diagnoses to you. there's a lot. i don't know how you got here. i called around until i found you" i told him.

"you went back to see him after didn't you?" brayden asked. "well yes, but i didn't know this is what happened or i never would have" i replied. "it's okay" he said. "really?" i asked. that didn't seem like him. "well there's nothing i can do about it now" he shrugged. "do about what?" i asked. "being half dead" he said.

the corners of my mouth fell into a tiny frown. part of me was wishing for him to say it was okay i was seeing gus. was i fucking crazy? he almost killed him why on earth would he ever be okay with that? "i'll stay away from him" i said, knowing what was on his mind. "good" he said. "i'm sorry" i apologized "don't" brayden responded.

"i love you bray. you're the best brother" i told him. "love you too" he said. "you see, it's not that gus is inherently a bad person but he can be a dangerous person. he's loyal and crazy and when he loves someone this is what happens. he loses control. this is why i didn't want you to have anything to do with him. this could have been you instead of me in this bed" brayden told me.

"i'm sorry" i apologized again. my voice cracked. "stop it. and don't cry allie. we can't change anything, we can only learn" he said. "i though you'd be angrier" i said. "oh trust me i was mad. i took it out on him. but this. this i can't change, being mad isn't going to help anything right now" he said.

the nurse came into his room. "allie if you don't mind stepping out for a few moments, we have some tests and such we have to run" she said. "of course" i told her, politely excusing myself. i stood in the empty, cold hallway waiting to be let back in.

i wanted gus right now. i did. this was his fault but i wanted his comfort right now. i wanted to be in his bed and him tell me it would be okay. but this is his fault. he's the reason nothing is okay. i hate him. i love him. i wanted to punch him. i wanted to hug him. i wanted to be with him. i wanted to kill him.

i ignored every text and call on my phone from him. i already told him the important and crucial information. "you can come back in whenever you're ready" the nurse told me, poking her head out of the door. i happily let myself back in the room.

"we've got him stable and healing right now. he's in good hands right now but needs to rest. if you want to go home and get some food and change clothes, shower, anything feel free too. we've got him here. you need to rest to. let us do our jobs and you can rest okay?" the nurse suggested.

i didn't love the idea but she was right. i was exhausted and felt musty as fuck. i was hungry too. i hadn't really eaten or dranken anything since he got here. "you can go al. it's fine. please go home and eat and sleep. i'll be here when you get back" brayden said. laughing a big.

"are you sure?" i asked. "yes allie. please do that, for me?" be asked. "fine" i gave in. "take care of yourself. we will call you if anything complicates while you're gone" the nurse said. "thank you. bye bray. see you in a bit" i told him, collecting my stuff to leave.

i went home home. my dad was gone. i went back to my own room and collapsed on my bed, instantly crashing. no pillow, no blanket. i dozed off very quickly, trying to catch up on yesterday's missed rest while trying to keep gus out of my head.