I Refuse To Let You Go

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#8

I Refuse To Let You Go

This one shot is inspired by what my best friend is doing for my brother after he's broken up with her many times. Some details have been changed. *~*~*~*

Frank;

I rush over to Gerard's house, it's ten o'clock and he's still at work. As far as I know, only Mikey is home and I'm okay with that.

Gerard and I have been broken up for five days and I'm going crazy without his love to hold on to. It hurts more than anything, knowing he isn't mine. My mood has permanently plummeted, my appetite has dropped, my health has gone to shit. Sure, I was entirely dependent on that relationahip, but I am not letting two years go to waste. I still love him and nothing is going to change that. I need him.

I have a pizza from Dominoes along with their Cinnastix. I know he loves it. Inside the pizza box, I wrote I hope this isn't too cheesy. and I bought some candles and two wine glasses. Just, I decided no wine, I'm using Sprite instead.

I clean up his room a bit and set the pizza in the middle of his bed. I put two candles on his nightstand, two on his dresser. I pour the Sprite into the glasses and set them on the nightstand.

I'm aware that he might not take this well, but I don't care. I want our relationship back, I can't stand not being able to sleep at night, I can't stand not seeing him as much as I used to. Most of all, I miss the way he used to tell me he loves me to get me to smile on bad days.

I hear his car outside, the unmistakably loud engine and the squeaky brakes. Soon enough, everything goes quiet and I listen for the slam of his door. Everything seems to happen in slow motion: his steps, the slamming of the front door, his heavy gait up the stairs, and then his bedroom door opening and closing.

"Frank," he sighs, "what are you doing?"

"Um, I got you a pizza. It's pepperoni," I answer, trying to smile under his tired gaze.

"You're vegetarian," he says back, throwing his car keys onto his dresser. "What would you eat?"

"I'd just pick them off," I respond, watching nervously as he takes off his jacket and kicks his work shoes off.

He just sighs and sits down on the other side of the pizza. "Candles? Wine glasses? Frank, I broke up with you."

The sentence brings a new round of pain through my chest, feeling like my heart is being ripped from my body. "I know, Gee... but I want you back, I refuse to believe that we were together for two years for nothing."

"Lots of couples are together for longer than that only to end up breaking it off," he points out.

I look away and pick up one of the wine glasses. "It's Sprite..." I hold it out to him, expecting him to grab it, but he only stares at it.

"You can't just do this, Frank. I'm sorry, but.. it's just not going to happen. I'm sorry." He offers me a light pat on the shoulder and then stands up, walking to his dresser. He blows the two candles out and then turns around. "Why can't you accept that it's over?"

"This is the fourth time you've broken up with me, I just want to know that I'm fighting for something. What makes this time any different than the others?" I pick up the two candles from the nightstand while he thinks up an answer. I blow them out and set them back down.

"Because this time I mean it," is what he says. "I'm not going to change my mind, I'm not going to hurt you anymore. The thing is, Frank, I care about you. I really do and it makes me hate myself when I put you through all that pain. Can we please be friends? Like old times?"

I just nod my head, not saying anything in the fear of tears falling. Two years just went down the drain. The best thing that's ever happened to me just let me go. My first love doesn't love me.

"I'll just go," I say, getting up. "I got you some Cinnastix, too.. I hope you like it. Sleep well tonight," I say before exiting the bedroom that holds too many memories to count.

"You too, Frankie," he practically whispers. That's when the tears fall, that's when I rush out so I don't break down in front of him.

xoCrashFire

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