ALWAYS

Our Destination

"I guess that’s what goodbye is like – like jumping off the edge, leaving all the strings of beautiful memories & knots of painful yesterdays."
-- spilledinkofmelancholia | tumblr

Dearest Nadine,

My love. My Naddie. My baby. My woman. My used to be anchor. I was supposed to be your constant...used to be... supposed to be. Past tense, because "US" is all in the past now. The memories, your life, our love story are all in the past now.

I always thought that I can always keep you close, that I can still hold you, be near you, and take care of you, goof around despite our decision to end our relationship. It was mutual, I know, because we both needed to grow on our own..but it did hurt..A LOT.

It has never crossed my mind that this would come. I never felt the gap between us until now. I always thought that it, what we have right now--us being JUST FRIENDS again, is just temporary. A bumpy road we'll have to face alone and, eventually, we would find our way to each other again.

However, everything came crashing down yesterday. All the hopes obliterated. The lights dimmed. When you introduce the guy who took my place. It should've been me. That's my spot..at least, that's how it used to be.

Today, right now, I am the before.. hopefully, not just a remnant of your past. I would like to believe that I made a great impact.

I can feel you slipping away. I couldn't hold you now, not as much as I can before. I couldn't hug you now, not as much as before. I couldn't make you giggle now like the way I used to before. But I love you still as much as before.

This time I won't be selfish. I will let you go. I will let you be with your happiness. I hope he takes care of you more than I do. I hope he loves you more than I do. I hope he'll never let go of your hands unlike I did. 

Your happiness is my happiness.. always. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

I LOVE YOU.. ALWAYS,

Your USED TO BE Bumbum

_______________________________________________________

Thinking if I should continue this or not, this is a rough draft but I am posting it because it's very timely right now.

Never thought it would hurt this much, but I am glad she found happiness again. I am glad she's happy, loved and taken care of because that's what she deserves.