it'll be okay

chapter 3

HELLO !! i already wrote chapter 3 but i accidently deleted it so .. here it is again !!

august 6th, 2023

A few days went by before Wilhelm could return home, but here he was, standing in the middle of his big empty room standing beside Simon. 

"It feels so empty." Wilhelm forced out, he felt uncomfortable in his room, it had no personality at all, and that made it look so boring.
"I think it's nice, I can always help you pick out decorations if you want? It would sure look nicer with a few more plants and maybe other small things?" Simon rambled, he was already designing the room in his head.
"Sure, i'd love to make it my own space, especially if you wanna help me."

Wilhelm still felt so tired, he still wasnt himself completely. He was still in a bit of pain and his thoughts were quite cloudy, but he'd feel better soon enough. 
"So, Simon.. We have a few things to talk about before we get really settled in and go on, about us.." Wilhelm trailed off, feeling scared.
Simon just stared at him, tilting his head to assure the boy before him that he was listening to him completely.
"We can make ourselves comfy in your room first, eat dinner and talk about it all over a cup of tea, yea? Let's not be too rough on your mind, youre still recovering love." Simon ended clearly, grabbing at Wilhelm's hand and intertwining them.
It was so weird for Wilhelm to be standing here like this with Simon. The brown haired boy had grown taller than him now, even if only by a few inches - It felt so new. He could hide himself just by standing infront of the boy before him. It was weird, sure, but nice. This means he could be held and feel small at the same time. His mind was vulnerable and he still needed people to be a bit soft with him.

Letting his head fall on Simon's shoulder, he relaxed, smiling a bit for the first time in awhile.

After their talk in Wilhelm's room, they ordered takeout together and ate by the dinner table while listening to each other talk about whatever came to mind. They let slow music play in the background, which seemed to fit so perfectly.
Throwing out their trash, they made tea for each other and slowly returned to the room they first visited.
Wilhelm felt a gulp in his throat, he was scared of how Simon was gonna react, he'd have broken down so much the past 2 years that he, himself even had a hard time understanding it all. But it was gonna be fine - Simon assured him so, he wouldnt leave.. Right?

Putting on some of Harry Styles more slow music, they slowly sat down on Wilhelm's bed and made themselves comfortable.
Hands and legs shaking out of panic, Simon slowly put his hand on Wilhelm's thigh to try to sooth him.
"Hey, it's gonna be alright. We dont need to talk about it all today, just what we can. I wont force you if it gets too much." He smiled and sipped his tea.

"Okay, then im ready to talk. First, I really just wanna know what you want answered. Im all ears and open minded" Wilhelm took a deep breath, getting himself together.

"Well, I dont know how to exactly ask, but whats happened to you Wille? I keep noticing new things that seem to stress you out. I wanna know just how much youre dealing with."

Wilhelm let himself gather his answer.
"Ever since we parted, all thats happened to us and the whole thing with Erik has destroyed me so much. Early on I got my diagnosis for anxiety and depression, and that took a big toll on me. Self harm soon became a big routine in my daily life. About a year ago food started bothering me, and I couldnt help but feel guilty after eating just the smallest things. Its fairly new, but about 6 months ago I got diagnosed with an eating disorder. Its been so tough with so much on my hands that constantly drag me down, but i've been in therapy and actively fighting against it all. Im getting better, even if its a slow process." The blonde choked out, tears slowly falling down his face.

Simon was tracing small patterns over Wilhelm's scars, in an attempt to calm him down. He sniffled a bit, feeling bad for the poor boy. He sighed loudly, getting himself to answer.
"I am so sorry you've gone through all this Wille, I really am. If I knew this wouldve gotten such a bad reaction out of you, I wouldn't have left you like that. Im so sorry, but I couldnt handle being anyone's secret and im sure you understand. But god damn, this breaks my heart Wille. I'll be here until the end, yeah? We'll get through it together, eventually." Simon looked straight into Wilhelm's eyes and smiled at him, happy that this talk is finally happening.

"Thank you for understanding me Simme, it helps a lot. Although it did affect me negatively, i completely understand why you reacted like you did. Im not blaming you for anything, you couldnt have known and it honestly wasnt your responsibility." Closing his  eyes, he decided on switching to a much lighter topic.

"But Simme, we can go public now. I want to start over with you so bad, and im ready to come out, if thats okay with you. I wanna start over, on a good note." He chuckled.
Simon just chuckled and nodded frantically, he was so happy to finally hear those words.
Infact he was so happy he couldnt stop himself from wrapping his arms around the other boy and giving him a kiss.
Wilhelm melted into his touch and immedietly his hands flew into the dark curls, letting Simon hold his waist close. Both boys were smiling into the kiss, and couldnt stop giggling when they pulled away.

"Aaaand, weird question - but would you ever want kids?" Simon asked out of the blue.

"Oh my god yes!! I'd love kids even if i kinda am forced to have kids cause of my title, but I really wanna be a parent. I think we'd adopt kids for sure, and and and and- uhm, if they were young enough for us to name them ourselves, I'd go for the name Erika if it was a girl, or Evan if it was a boy. They both start with E, cause i wanna make them remember Erik and just how good of a brother he was.. I'd really like kids, what about you Simme?" The blonde stopped rambling and finally asked about what the other thought, not even noticing how fast he was talking.

"Youve for sure thought ahead, and i think thats cute. But we'll talk more tomorrow, okay? I think we should head to bed, you need rest, i can tell youre tired, love." Simon kissed his cheek.
After getting themselves ready for bed and Simon forcing Wilhelm into sweatpants and gifting him his purple hoodie, which he looked adorable in, they finally laid in Wilhelm's bed.

Pulling Wilhelm close to himself, Simon held him close to keep him warm. Burying themselves under the warm blanket, they laid comfortably. The sleeves of Simon's hoodie were big on Wilhelm so they fell down quite a bit, showing his scars. Simon decided to kiss every single scar, hoping to make Wilhelm feel better about them - that it was all gonna be okay. They were okay.

Turning off their music and closing their eyes, they finally fell asleep after a small while.

They were content - it was gonna get better.