the thing you wanted all along

Part 13

A few days later prince Zuko sent for me again. Mai and Jin were both in his room already, I sat next to Mai and tried to ask her why we're all there, but he started to talk before I could ask.

"Jin has done something unforgivable. She tried to bear my child to get me to marry her, she must be punished. Mai is here because she was once my betrothed, Katara is here because she represents my future wife, whoever she may be. Both of you need to weigh in on Jin's punishment" Mai and I exchanged looks.

"why?" I moved my gaze from Mai to prince Zuko.

"what do you mean?"

"I am no longer involved with you, and Katara will not have anything else to do with you after you get married, so why do we, of all people, need to weigh in on this matter?" prince Zuko seemed stunned. Mai got up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"your sister would say to make her barren, but I think you should just fire her" she then walked out of his room. Jin whimpered in fear and held onto her stomach.

"what happened?" prince Zuko looked from the closed door to me, Jin did as well.

"what happened when?"

"what happened to make you think that's what she was doing?" He thought about it, I could practically see his brain working.

"well, I woke up and saw her sitting on me, I felt that we were having sex and pushed her from me. What other reason could she have to start fornications three weeks before the ball where I need to choose a wife? If she's pregnant with my seed, I must marry her" I looked at Jin, she was a mess. Her dress was put on backwards and wasn't tied right, revealing one of her breasts. She sat on her undergarments and tried to hide them, but they could still be seen. She had cried before I got there, two faded black lines were staining her cheeks. She wore imperial makeup; her eyeshadow was wiped away almost completely but her lips were colored in a bright shade of red. Her hair and lips were the only things to not get messed up by her little act. Her hair was tied up in the traditional fire lady hairdo, judging by her looks it wasn't too hard to see why she did it. I knelt next to her.

"why did you do that?" I asked gently. She sniffled and whimpered slightly.

"I love him, I deserve to be fire lady, not anyone else. He didn't see that, so I had to show him. I was so close, his seed was spilled on his bed after he pulled himself from me. just a few more seconds and it would have spilled inside me" I sighed and looked at prince Zuko.

"why not present yourself as best you can in the ball in three weeks?"

"I'm not noble born, I can never be chosen by him because of it. My only way to marry him is to get his seed in my stomach, and he ruined that" she started to cry again, and I looked at prince Zuko. He knelt next to us both and held my shoulders in order to balance himself.

"why are you desperate to marry me? It can't be just because you love me" she looked at him, the faded black lines were thicker now, and were less black.

"I'm of a poor family. My sisters and I were told since we were young that we needed to marry into a rich life, and all my sisters did so while I was working here. I told them that one day I will marry you and be higher than them when I started working here, so when I was given the task of waking you up in the morning I took it as a tool to help me get you as a husband"

"but you didn't wake me up that way before, why now?"

"if you remember correctly, I woke you up in the morning by gently shaking you awake in the beginning. After I caught you pleasuring yourself, I decided to pleasure you awake every morning, and I did that for years"

"what changed from yesterday morning to today?"

"yesterday I received a letter from my eldest sister. She had just received the invitation for the ball and wondered why I'm not married to you yet, I was desperate to marry you before the ball, that way I could let my sisters know that I am better than them" she held onto to prince Zuko and pushed him to the ground. She pulled his pants away and sat on him, pulling him into her. she started moving and moaning in pleasure while Zuko tried to pry her from him, he fell into the pleasure soon enough, but held my hand tightly and begged me to get her from him before his seed erupts. I pulled her slightly from him when a white liquid rose to the air and fell back down on her dress, she was screaming her lungs off for me to let her go. After she saw the white liquid she stopped fighting me and started crying again, punching my chest and shoulders. I held her hands and stopped her from punching me.

"when was the last time you bled?" she looked at me, shocked, her tears stopped leaving her eyes.

"the last time I bled? A few days ago," I let go of her and got up.

"in that case, you will never get pregnant before the ball, no matter how much seed is spilled into you. You can keep having sex with a guy, but until three and a half weeks from now, you're barren" prince Zuko sighed in relief and got up as well, covering his genitals again. He held my arm and pulled me from his room, leaving Jin there crying her eyes out.

"how do you she won't bear children in the next few weeks?"

"it's how the female body works; you wouldn't know until you start trying to have a child with your wife" I pulled my hand from him and started to walk away. He ran after me and caught me, grabbing my shoulders and turning me to him.

"you saved me, thank you" I took his hands and pulled them from my shoulders.

"I did nothing but clear her confusion, it wasn't for you" He grabbed my hand and stopped me from going away from him.

"why are so cold to me all of a sudden?"

"I am a servant in your castle, I was never meant to meet you, let alone help you with problems such as these"

"I want you to attend the ball, I want you to be a candidate" He pulled me closer, his lips were closer to mine than I ever thought was allowed.

"you've seen me in my worst, more than once. As far as I'm concerned, you are the best candidate" his lips pecked mine, suddenly I forgot everything. How much lower I was from him, how differently I was raised than him, and how different our lives were from each other. All I wanted to do was keep kissing him, and more. I started to know what Jin felt, that thought brought me back down. I pushed him away, we stared at each other. I was tempted to kiss him again, a real kiss this time, not just a peck on the lips. I couldn't, it would not be fair to his future wife.

"I won't be the one you end up with, I can't. you have to stop calling for me, or else you won't be able to choose the best girl to marry" He tried to reach for me, but I was out of reach. The only thing he could do was ask.

"why aren't you the best girl for me?" I stopped, my back still to him. I wanted to turn back and kiss him, tell him that I'm not the best girl, but I wanted to marry him nonetheless. I walked away, it was my duty to serve the royals, not be one of them.