Wounded Healers: Azriel x Gwyn

Teardrops

Elain had made her decision. She knew it was a bad idea, and that no good could come of it, but a sick, masochistic desire made her do it. And so she had Rhysand winnow her into the library, all so that she could spy on the woman that Azriel seemed to be romantic with.

She had seen Gwyn with Nesta on several occasions and, from the brief glance she had on Starfall, knew it was her that Azriel held. She wasn't sure why it mattered to her - after all, her and Azriel were never truly an item. They were forbidden to be so. She had found comfort in him during her transition into fae life, and always found him devastatingly handsome. She lusted for him, and he gave her hope for the future; hope that maybe one day she could build a good life for herself in Pyrthian. But truthfully, she didn't know the man beyond his gentle, quiet demeanor and his protectiveness over her. She knew nothing of his history from his own lips; knew nothing of his likes and dislikes. And yet, she couldn't help but feel as though any potential that she might've had with Azriel was just one more thing that had been taken away from her. 

The library was huge; she wondered how long it would take her to find Gwyn. She walked along the first floor to no avail. She had nearly started on the third floor before she saw a sheet of copper hair between two stacks - it was definitely Gwyn. Elain had obtained a book on gardening somewhere during her search for Gywn and she pretended to thumb through it as she seated herself at the table nearest to her.

Gwyn had been very slow today. Her mind was all in a fog, having no clarity for anything besides her feelings for Azriel. Since the mating bond had snapped into place for her, it was hard to focus on anything besides him. She wished she could enjoy the sensation without it being marred by her worry and confusion regarding his emotions towards her. She was normally a very direct person, and liked to communicate as such. But there was too much at stake for her to be clumsy. She had admitted to him that she no longer cared for Cassian, hoping that he'd make the same revelation in turn about Elain. But he had not. And it made Gwyn, who felt quite vulnerable, assume the worst.

When Gwyn turned and saw Elain seated at the table, she thought she was hallucinating. She recognized her from the few times that they met briefly. It seemed to Gwyn a horrible coincidence to find the person she had just been thinking about several feet in front of her. Before Gwyn could look away and dodge her, Elain caught her eye and gave a tentative smile. Gwyn smiled back, remembering that she was Nesta's sister. Elain wasn't her enemy, nor did Gwyn feel any malice towards her. Elain couldn't help being stunningly beautiful so as to attract her mate, nor could she blame Elain for any romantic feelings she had towards Azriel. Logically speaking, Gwyn was sure that Elain was kind, gentle, and good; and deserved to be treated with decency and respect. She was a woman who had also known terrible hardships. Reminding herself of this, Gwyn fought against the instinct the mating bond signaled throughout her body to register Elain as a threat and subsequently throw her down Bryaxis' pit. Gwyn felt like she wanted to vomit - it truly hurt seeing Elain. It made her feel awfully insecure, seeing the woman that Azriel had pined for.

Gwyn approached Elain hesitatingly, hovering over the table but not sitting. 

"Hello, it's Gwyn, right? Nesta talks about you so often," Elain said politely.

Still forcing herself to smile, Gwyn nodded. "Yes, and you're Elain, of course. It's nice to see you again," she lied civilly. 

Elain's courteous smile faltered as she noticed something around Gwyn's neck catch the light.

"Azriel gave you that necklace?" Elain asked, shock registering more than any other emotion. It brought back the memory of that Solstice night, and triggered the hurt and confusion she had felt as Azriel pulled away from her.