Story in her eyes...

Getting to know better

Erin's POV

It's almost 7 years since I had a relationship with a woman, after all these years I didn't know that I will find someone real again, been chatting with different girls, hooked up and flirting with different people online, I got tired basically... to keep trying, so for now I think I'll just give myself a break.

I spent time with Mia for almost 2 years. She's my classmate back in college days, then we found ourselves falling for each other. I gave her everything I have, loved her, took care of her in the deepest extent that I didn't realized I already forgot how to love myself. Unfortunately, living in a country where there's no freedom for women and LGBT people isn't legal, you won't be able to have an opportunity to decide for yourself, I found myself getting married without meeting the person personally until our honeymoon night. It was an awful experienced specially if you don't know how to fight for yourself. All you can do is to say yes to everyone around you.

After a long time of battle inside the courtroom for my child's custody after filing a divorce case, I thought it will be the worst experience of my life, I am wrong. Falling in love with same gender knowing that there's no room for happiness after she got married forcefully is the most devastating experience. I found myself in a room of doom, darkest place I could've ever imagined, weeping in silence, my tears got run dried. I got addicted on drugs and became alcoholic. She broke me very badly, left me like a piece of trash without any word I felt that she just played with me. She ruined my life and broke my heart into thousand pieces. I found myself living in agony and anxiety. I tried to killed myself so many times without thinking about the people around me, I felt like my world was completely shattered... and no one will ever care.

6 years had passed so quickly and I still remember her sometimes. the memories we've shared together, happy moments, how we held hands these random thoughts still in my mind. I almost dropped the glass on my hand when my phone vibrated. *beeeeep**** (1 message received) I was so excited to open the message when I saw Amara's name on the screen of my phone.

" hey babe." Omg why is this girl so sweet and flirting with me "Hi honey, how are you?" i replied.

It's been a week since I started chatting with Amara and I can say that she seems like a good person. I know it's a bit weird but I'm comfortable when I'm talking to her. She's a happy person, She used to tell silly jokes and making me smile most of the time, it's been years since I gave myself a genuine smile.

"I have to tell you something. Please don't be mad at me." My heart started to pound when I read her message. "Don't worry I'm your friend, you can tell me anything." I replied. "I feel so much pain, I found out that she's fake. help me to move on please." Amara replied. My heart suddenly felt her tears, I know she's crying right now. She's talking about her girlfriend named Shantal, they've met online and Amara fell in love with that girl without thinking if that's real or not. I know she's in pain, I felt the same pain before, when someone you love didn't gave you the same love you've always longed for.

"I am here, don't worry" I tried to make her feel calmed for a little bit. I called Amara because I know she need someone to talk to. "Make her feel jealous." I added. "No! I can't continue being dumb anymore, I already had this feeling before, that she might be fake but I trusted her completely because I loved her." My heart feels weak for her as I hear her crying on the other line. "Please stop crying. I will help you, come to me." I was hoping at least she feel relaxed when talking to me. "Make me forget about her.. help me move on." Amara continued as she cries.

I have no idea what will happen next but I felt her, I can't see her like this. I know she's a strong woman and this reality of life about love makes us weak. I can see myself on her, how she survived with so many bad memories with her past. I'm not sure if this will be a bad idea but I'm willing to take a risk again.. To fall in love with Amara..

******

Few weeks passed by and Amara started to be normal again. I kept sending her good morning messages to cheer her up and sweet romantic messages are the ones I'm getting in return. She's really sweet and I have no idea how can random girls let her go just like that or probably even played with her.

"Babe I have to go out today. be back in the afternoon." I was working in the kitchen as I received her message "Okay honey, I'm a little busy too, we can talk at night. take care." I replied. "I love you." She messaged back. She never failed to make me smile everyday, kept sending I love you's and so many sweet messages. Again, I felt so much happiness. It's worth it, taking a chance.