Random Anime Onshots

│ 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗪𝗲 𝗪𝗲𝗿𝗲 │

(Haikyuu)

Tooru Oikawa x Reader

First POV

Angst

⚠️Abuse Warning ⚠️

. . .

It started with the yelling, then it became physical, but I showed him I couldn't be broke. So the alternative was mentally. Now that one really hurt.

He still slammed doors, he still made snide comments about my weight even when I haven't eaten in days, he still ignored me, and I still loved him.

But I can't do it anymore, I can't have sympathy, I can't cry out, because it doesn't make a difference.

He once told me that Rose were Red, and Violets were blue, all I see now is that clouded image of us when we were still in high school. I wonder what happened, I wonder what changed, I wonder if he's always been this way, I wonder if Toru wished he could go back in time and never walk up to me. If I had just been another fan maybe it wouldn't have panned out like this.

No matter how hard I try though, I know my feelings won't change, I know I'd still love how cocky he was, how determined he was, and how broken her was.

I'm the one that broke us though, it's not his fault. I stopped communicating and I got what I wanted, solitude, but at what cost?

A healthy relationship consists of trust and communication, but there's a different devil at my door now, and it won't go away until I answer it.

What did I think was gonna happen?

"Well?" He screams, "what did you think was gonna happen!?"

At first I'm convinced the voice is in my head, but as I look up I know it's not. I'm left speechless. It's not like I'd say something worthwhile anyways.

"Are you being ignorant or are you just dumb." He's talking to me, isn't he? The devil on my doormat grins, of course he is: there's no one else here.

"Well Y/n?" He questions, I don't even know what we were fighting about this time.

"What?"

"Don't act retarded Y/n, you know what I'm talking about!" His voice is so loud I can barely manage not to cover my ears, but on instinct my hands rize from my side a little.

I've never cried in front of Toru before, I've always managed to hide them at least until he was in another room, or I was alone, but I can't help the tears this time. They come without warning, it's not my fault this time.

"Oikawa stop." I say, my voice quivering, but my face is just as monotonous as it had been from the start of this conversation.

"What?" His tone slices through any remorse I was planning on giving him, what did he expect me to say? Maybe it's because I'm crying, maybe he's weirded out. Oh well, it can't really be helped can it?

"Look." I say sternly, "I'm done."

"What?" He asks again, although this time it sounds as if he can't believe what he's heard. Unlike the moment before his voice wasn't conniving, irritated. It's what I imagine agony to sound like.

"Why are you calling me by that name?"

Ignoring him I say,"I'm leaving. I'll go pack my things. I'm staying in a hotel until I can find somewhere permanent." It's the longest I've ever spoken to him in months, I feel kind of bad.

"Y/n?" He calls and I make to stand, no longer behind me in the hallway, now in front of me. He moved quickly.

"..." I don't say anything, but I don't move either. I at least owe him this much.

"When did we start falling apart?" I haven't feel much in the past few months, but this brought every emotion back. I wanted to crumble then and there, under his stare: and suddenly I am reminded of the exact moment I fell in love with him.

It was a regular day after school, the bell had just rang and I was walking with one of my friends, not paying attention. I remember I had tripped over a volleyball. A boy came running out of the gym and another guy came running out after him.

The boy the helped me up was Toru. The one that came running out after him was Hajime. Hajime had made him bow and apologize as a bruise had started forming on my ankle. I didn't know him or Hajime at first, but I began seeing them more and more around school.

Then one day I was running late and Toru found me struggling with my locker. He asked me about the bruize, I was in fact surprised that he had even noticed it, everything had happened so fast, I was sure no one, but myself saw the dark purple.

He then said some stupid pick up line and I had burst out laughing, he didn't seemed to find it funny and began pouting. I had to comfort him and I found it amusing, I found him amusing.

The memory reappeared like a flash of light, and just as quickly disappeared leaving the slomen figure of present Toru in front of me.

"I still love you." I whispered, then turned around.

He was on me like a snake, I repressed the urge to cling to him and cry out all the things I've missed about us. He choked on a sob and whispered into my ears, "I'm sorry."

It broke me, my knees plunged to the floor and I became a mess of loud wails and long heaving breaths. "I don't know where I went wrong!" I shouted between wails.

Toru joined me on the floor and cried next to me, I knew that tears came from the heart, but I couldn't dream of what he was crying for. He didn't love me, not anymore, and he knows that which is why it's so hard for him to come to terms with this.

I stifled my sobs and began pushing myself up, "maybe we were meant to meet Toru." The name found its way in my mouth again, thought I bit my tongue at the slip up.

He followed me again, pushing himself up. "What do you mean Y/n?" He's trembling.

"I mean maybe we were to just be friends and we fucked it up by being together."

"No!" He said, stepping forward. "No, don't say that!"

I turned to face him, "it hurts me just as much as it hurts you." I said frantically wiping away the tears threatening to drown me in my misery, "maybe worse."

"We can fix it." He pleaded and oh how I wanted to believe him. How much I wanted to.

"Let me tell you the truth." He stayed silent, my feet moved to walk away, but before I did I left him with, "I miss how we once were."