I really love to tell this story and realised I haven't told it on here yet...
So it started late 2013, I was heading into senior school (Year 11) in a couple of months, just turned 16, you know... shit in my life was getting serious (according to people...)
So, I've never been in a proper relationship with anyone... no boyfriends... no girlfriends... no relationships of any kind... (trying to be inclusive of all genders here since my sexuality is 'confused as fuck' and 'idk and idc')
So at that stage, my mum felt abliged to question me about my romantic and sexual interests if you catch my drift...
Mum - "Bash, do you have a secret boyfriend you're not telling me about... You know you can tell me anything!"
Mum - "Bash, it is totally ok if you've had sex... I wont judge you... as long as it was protective" (I gagged so hard in that conversation)
Mum - "Hey! That guys pretty cute... what do you think?"
Mum - "BashFish.... Are you a lesbian? Is that it!?"
Mum - "I really hope not... I want grand children..."
Me - "Lesbians can have children..."
Mum - "I want ones related to me Bash!"
yadi yadi yada... you feel me...?
For some time she tried to set me up with boys and convince me that there must be someone I have a crush on and that I can go out with...
(I also think its funny to mention that as a side note, everytime my dad was in the same room as a conversation like this was going, my dad would walk out and then come back in sharpening a knife or weilding a sledge hammer with the biggest grin on his face... My dads great)
This went on for months... NON STOP!
I would tell her to drop it and that all the guys within my year were disgusting assholes who are only intrested in huge tits and ass that they could never have...
And mum never believed me...
Anyways, time went on and I became more and more pissed off with my mum...
Then it came to about April-ish 2014, School Photo Day.
I knew that this would be my oppotunity to prove to my mum that the boys in my year are horrible. SO I happily got my photos taken and waited a couple of weeks before I got them back.
You had my individual photos... you know my big ugly mug...
You had your group photo... Getting better..
Then you had a page of all the students in my year, all THEIR individual photos! Every one of their ugly mugs!
So that afternoon, I walked home from school, walked out to my mum (who was reading a magazine, not having time to say hello) slammed the individual photos of my whole year infront of her and yelled.
"THIS! THIS IS WHY I'M SINGLE!"
And marched off to my room, leaving her with them...
I expected her to come in and be like "Bash they aint that bad" or "bash I'm sure they're lovely people" or "Bash have an open mind"
Oh no... It was so brilliant...
She walked in, after an hour, and simply said.
"I understand"
Left the photos in my lap and walked out again
I had fucking won!
It's been a year since that incident and I haven't been asked ONCE about my relationships!
I've never been so happy about something in all my life... mwhahaha!
Success!
And as daughters, sons and offspring yourselves, I'm sure you understand that a child NEVER wins against their mum... But I motherfucking did it!
I'm so proud... I should be in history books...
I'm probably the only teenager ever to be proud about being single.. *shrugs*
Anyways, that was story time with BashFish...
BYE!
~BashFishIsSingleAndDoesn'tKnowHowToMingle
