15 days (Hosie)

day 12 depression

Last night I got everything out of me by crying for a few hours inside of Josie's arms it felt so nice and I really appreciated her being there for me after that I was finally able to get a few normal hours of sleep unlike my usual nightmares and having to stay up all night because the Deep pain that was rooted inside of me from after my parents passed.

When I woke up she surprised me with breakfast in bed and a nice warm bath this was really really kind of her and it really made me smile and it made me feel a lot better even though deep inside of me there was a pain that was tempting to ruin our whole day.

We just cuddled in bed for most of the day which was really nice even though it kind of made me feel more sad knowing that I wouldn't have her for much longer and that me and her were running out of time it was a really scary thought to think about but I know it's better to accept it before it happens then to be not knowing where I went wrong.

After that we fell asleep.

The next day/~

I wasn't happy anymore. The only thing that ever makes me happy is now going to be leaving my life forever and leaving me behind I don't understand how people expect me to be okay after all that's going on right now it's just so overwhelming and difficult and it's just so hard to pretend to be happy around everybody when all I want to do is to cry or to never ever wake up.

But that's stupid my parents died for a reason and they died so I would be here today and it'd be totally not worth it just to waste their death and to just die.

Every day every single time I woke up it was this pain that never goes away knowing that we're just one day closer to Josie never being alive anymore and that's something that's really hard for me to live with and I'm not sure how I'm going to survive without her.

I wanted some quality time with Josie and I had a plan that was hoping that she is going to like by the time that me and her woke up the next day I already planned out my whole plan for a special dinner just me and her.

I told her that I had plans for me and her for the night and she seems pretty happy from what I know of I could tell that she been walking on eggshells around me because she knew I was close to going off the edge and just one thing could Rock the Boat.

I felt bad because this was all my fault and she shouldn't have to feel that way around me and I was hoping that at dinner I could tell her about about I've been feeling.

Josies pov

I knew that help with hurting a lot inside and it felt like every day was starting to get repeated of Hope always just being sad and I didn't know how to help her I think that's one of the things that hurted most I always knew how to help Lizzie when she was going off the edge but with hope this was all new territory and I had no clue how to handle it and I do not want to do anything wrong because that could have really bad effects that I do not want to cause to happen.

Hope told me that she planned out a little dinner date which made me really happy because it showed that she cared and that was just something that I felt like I needed I also really missed my parents and I wanted to spend a little bit of the daytime with them before me and hope had our little dinner date.

After telling hope that I wanted to spend some time with my parents before our date she seems pretty okay with it and was happy but you sent you have a lot of extra time to be able to get everything set up.

Hopes pov

Josie was now with her parents which meant that I had a few hours to set everything up for her I ran into town to get some of the stuff I needed and I cooked a nice big meal in the school kitchen hoping not to get busted by Alaric because I knew that he sucked at keeping secrets.

I prepped everything up down by the dock and everything was looking perfect and with about 30 minutes before our date time I wanted to quickly get ready so I didn't look  horrible.

I dress up in a nice dress and some makeup and curl my hair. I was really excited for me and Josie's date and Juice getting ready inside of her sister's room so I could go pick her up when I was ready I sent her a quick text letting her know that I'm on my way and I head off to her sister's room to get her.

When I got to Lizzie's room and knock I was greeted with the most gorgeous amazing girl I've ever seen Josie looked absolutely fantastic with a short pink and purple dress and soft purple eyeshadow.

I felt completely blown away for a second I was so happy to have Josie.

I have her shut her eyes and I laid her down to the dock and finish up the last few touches before taking off the blindfold.

Josies pov

Hope takes off my blindfold and I was amazed at what I saw I saw the doc and the area of grass all decked out beautiful fairy lights and candles and a little table set up with flowers and my favorite food with petals scattered around I was so excited to have an amazing girlfriend like hope.

Our night was amazing with with a little bit of drinking which process to be pretty tired and have an early bedtime.

~rosie_the_phyco