15 days (Hosie)

day 7 bargaining

I really wanted to hope it felt like my soul was being crushed every single second I was away from her. I don't know what was causing me to feel this way but it's most likely the fact that I was going to be dead soon. I hated saying it. It just bothered me every single time I said it. 

It wasn't worth it to be upset because this was saving me and Lizzie from having to do the merge and at least there's some sort of good thing coming out of this situation. 

I knew that hope was going through some hard feelings and that she was kinda lost but honestly it was selfish for her to leave. I was scared too but I would never leave her like that. I mean she lost so much she is probably scared of losing another important person in her life. 

I mean she has the right to feel this way. It's a lot for someone to go through especially as such a young child so I'm not really too mad at her because it's not really her fault. I just hope that I can convince her to come home today because I have been feeling really sick since I woke up and I don't want to go through it without her. 

I can tell it's getting worse and now that she and she went in contact last night it really shouldn't be too hard to convince her to come back home. 

Hopes pov

After waking up I pack up my stuff and head to a coffee shop with the notebook that lets me and Josie talk. Honestly I wanted to hear her voice and this wasn't quite enough. I wanted to call her but I had no way to call her. 

I knew the school number off the top of my head since I had been going there for so long and maybe I could find a way to call her just so I could hear her voice. 

After ordering a warm coffee I sit down and sip it slowly as I think to myself. After I finish I walk up to the counter and ask to use the phone. Once they agree I put in the school's number and wait for a response as the little rings echo in my ear. 

Finally I got an answer. It was doctor saltzman doing his whole little intro thing or whatever. Once he heard my voice he stopped. I asked to speak to Josie and a few moments later my girlfriend was on the other end of the call. It made me feel complete knowing that she was on the other end of the line. 

Josie's pov

All day I was trying to get a hold of hope so we could talk and now finally I had the phone pressed up against my ear and her on the other end of the call. I start speaking. I tell her how I miss her and how I feel really sick and how I was really really sad when she left and that I just wanted her to be at home with me and how I absolutely hated to be away from her. 

Apparently this was the perfect thing to say because she promised to buy a plane ticket and to come home back into my arms. She had been gone for too long. It's been about 3 days since she had been gone. 

Hope didn't seem right though she seemed mad and like she was crabby and all pissed off for no apparent reason. I was just happy I would get to see her. I didn't know what hope was going through so it's not right to judge or to be rude to her. She probably needed space and I'm over here being selfish and taking away her space.

I was still glad that she would be coming home soon because every second I felt worse and worse and i didnt know how much longer I could stay awake. I wanted to be awake for when hope comes home so i can talk with her before bed but my throat is burning so bad and it will be a few hours till she can come home. 

I went and spent a little time with my parents while I was waiting for hope to come home. 

Hopes pov

Turns out Josie had her own little speech all planned out for me and once I heard the whole thing I felt bad for leaving. Even though all i wanted was to save my girlfriend and now i'm here with no way to save her and i need to return home without even having a way to save my girlfriend. 

I pack, get my bag and start to walk to the airport. It starts to pour down rain and soak me. I put up my hood and ease back the sadness like always. I was in so much pain from all the depression and sadness in my life it was getting hard to manage everything.  

I got on the plane and put my head up against the window and just lay there silent for about an hour before I moved from my little stop to look around or do anything. I wanted to think. I needed to think about things for a while. Everything is going so fast and sometimes it's hard not to get caught up in all of the drama and to take a refreshing second for myself every once in a while. 

Josie sounded a lot worse. This made my blood boil in anger. She didn't deserve this and it was my job to find a cure and yet I failed. This was stupid anyways and of course life had to through another curve-ball just to remind me why i couldnt ever be happy. 

I didn't know why things were so hard. Why was things like tjins unfair. Maybe it's all like this because i'm not even supposed to be here anyways and I'm a literal mistake in the universe and its obviously proving that i'm not meant to be alive or happy. 

I notice wetness on my face and I notice I have been crying. I wipe my tears and sigh. I feel a rush of extreme anger push over me and I feel my wolf eyes pop out. I let out a soft scowl and cross my arms and just sit there waiting for this stupid flight to end. 

Finally it ends and I get a taxi back to the school. I was expecting to see Josie there waiting but of course not. I go to our room and I find her asleep in my hoodie. I take a deep breath and go to the bathroom for a quick shower before I head off to bed with josie. 

After my shower I changed and got onto the other side of the bed and tonight it took me quite a while longer to fall asleep than my usual nights.