In Bloom

How I met your Plant

His last class of the day was biology, a subject he didn't hate for once. While he thought that, yes, the wonders of the world and the human body were really fascinating - he absolutely hated his teacher. She took pity on him and his falling grades, so she decided to allow him to do a project to save him from repeating the college course.

The task he was assigned to do would be overly simple for anyone really; all he had to do was buy any cheap plant of his choosing and document its growth. Alongside that, he'd also have to document how many times he'd watered it and how many hours of sunlight the plant was exposed to. When she suggested the idea to Beta, he just wanted his last period to be over already, so he agreed without any complaints. He regrets doing that now, as he was lazily walking down the street towards any flower shop he could find.

Now Beta hated everything about gardening. His mother used to do it all the time and would force him to help. He hated how hot it was every time they did it, he hated the bugs that would fly around his face, and most of all he hated the flowers. He thought how obnoxious it was that such pretty things would grow out of the dirt. His mother would often compare him to that, that one day he would break out of this dirty attitude and become a beautiful flower. What a joke.

He had to do this project though, his grade was starting to fail and any more failures would lead to him getting kicked out of his university. The warning emails got to him.

When he walked into the store he went over to the seeds. The instructions on the packets confused him. Starting a plant from scratch looked so difficult. He knew from his luck it wouldn't even sprout. He decided even if it affected his grade he was going to buy an already growing plant.

So now he was forced to look around the small shop for any plant that may catch his interest. While most of them were either too tedious to take care of, or just obnoxiously colored, one specific plant caught his eye...

The plant was so weird looking, even the pot was unusual! Instead of those minimalistic white or light brown ones, this pot was wide and round - it was pumpkin shaped! Not only that, there were bleeding eyes drawn on the surface of it, making it look so cool and unique.

But, the plant itself is what interested him the most, by far.

It was black, almost the same shade as the soil underneath it - in fact, Beta wasn't sure which part specifically was the plant or the ground underneath it. It had small, white, and red... leaves? He wasn't sure what those were, they were very hard and rough to touch - maybe this was some inbred cactus? It didn't matter; Beta loved the vibe the plant gave him - he assumed it was a leftover Halloween-themed item. He quickly checked the price and his jaw dropped - it only costs five dollars!

"You really want to get that one, kid?" A voice said behind him. Beta spun around and met eyes with an older man. He must have been the shop owner.

"Yeah. What about it?" Beta replied. "It's a weird-looking plant." The shop owner looked him up and down, obviously judging him. Beta felt like spitting in his face. Take a picture or something.

The old man only shook his head before letting the younger one pay for it; he couldn't stop him - the plant was on display after all. In a way, he was finally glad to get rid of that putrid thing. After paying the respective amount, his new plant was secured in a small bag and handed to him.
He left the shop without saying goodbye, finally making his way home.
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He was so excited about his new purchase that he completely forgot his biology project. Whatever he'd just make up the notes one day before it was due.

As he unlocked the door to his dorm his roommates came out and scowled at him while walking by.

"Dick," Beta mumbled under his breath before heading to his own room. He navigated himself around the mess in the room to make way to his desk. As he took the plant out of his bag and placed it on the desk he then realized something. It had no tag for instructions on how to take care of it. The man at the store didn't even bother to tell him anything either. Fuck, he was going to end up killing the thing.

He knew all plants needed some sunlight, water, and sometimes other things. But some plants were specific, maybe he could look up the thing online.

It somewhat made Beta happier though. This was the first time in a while he cared about something. Maybe it was sad that it was a house plant but it was something. Beta assumed this was a great way to get his motivation rolling, he needed to pass his biology classes after all. If he figured out a specific routine, or a specific timestamp when he watered the plant, it would bring back that satisfying feeling of productivity. He went on his laptop, which was cracked in a few places, and typed in the search bar.

His fingers froze mid-sentence - he realized that the shop owner also didn't give him the plant's name. He exhaled as he, instead, quickly took his phone and opened the app store. One good thing about Google was that it brought many search results; luckily one mentioned an app that can help you detect certain plant types, even stating if they're toxic or not.

A part of Beta really wanted this bad boy to be lethal, at least poisonous if anything!

As he waited for the app to download he stared at the plant. Throughout his college career, he has heard silly college girls talk about their own dorm plants like it was some sort of pet. They would even name them. Beta used to roll his eyes at those girls, but being in front of this plant which he now had to take care of, made him want to name it too. Being called "just the plant" wasn't cool.

As he thought of the name, he glanced back to his computer looking at the tabs. One of the tabs was open to a well-known movie he was watching last night called "Nightmare on Elm Street". Freddy Krueger. That's it. He will name it Fred for short. That was fitting.

"Let's see what you are Fred," Beta chuckled as he noticed the app was finished.

He opened it and read through the short instructions, before snapping a picture and letting the app do its thing. The screen froze for a moment, Beta watched in confusion - his phone wasn't usually this bad at processing apps. Suddenly, a loud noise came through his speakers as the graphics mixed and distorted uncomfortably. Beta inched the phone away from his face as he stared speechlessly, loud cryptic noises getting even more disturbing as some unknown letters appeared on his screen. He quickly closed the app and deleted it right off his device.

"Fucking Apple. Guess I'll just water you every day and see what happens." He looked around looking for a container to hold the water. "Man, I should have bought a watering can."

Beta continued looking around until he caught eyes with an empty soda bottle. He went into the bathroom and washed it out. Filling it up he went back into his room.

"I hope you enjoy some sugar with your water. I know that soda fuels me." He poured the water on the soil and watched it absorb it. "Do you need sunlight too?"

He then stopped himself. He was starting to talk to the plant. Maybe this was getting too far. Sure he was lonely but he was acting like a crazy person at this point. Picking up Fred he moved him to the windowsill.

The plant really did match his room. What a good pick. The rumbling of his stomach gave him the clue that it was time to eat. Maybe it was time for him to eat out for once instead of the same ramen noodle packets. Beta sighed as he picked up his keys and wallet.

"Bye Fred." He snorted as he waved goodbye to the plant.