Regret

The Choice

When the door closes Astrid finally allows herself to slump forward, bringing her hand to clutch her freezing wet head. She reaches slowly for an extra towel Heather left, but she winces immediately. Hiccup is at her side in an instant, slowly guiding her shaking form to an upright position.

"May I?" He asks gently, his nasally tone deeper and thicker than she last remembers. The young woman mumbles a small 'yes' hating how quiet she sounds. Now that she's seen herself it's all she can see. How weak and sickly she must look to him. How disgusting.

And yet ever so softly he takes the towel from her hands, and with the most gentleness he can muster he begins to dry her hair. He marvels at it's softness in his hands again, no doubt Tuffnut's work, but still. It makes him smile, she's beginning to look more like herself again. And despite it all she's still the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

"So Dr. Corona told me you were improving a lot. She said you're walking much better on your own today, though she'd prefer it if you'd use that wheelchair more." He laughs softly, jutting his chin in the direction of the abandoned wheelchair in the corner. Astrid only huffs irately.

"I hate relying on you all like this." She grumbles, then winces when the towel grazes a tender spot atop her head. She eyes the towel angrily. "Case and point."

"Sorry." He winces. "Do you want me to brush it? I know you used to like when I did that so I thought if I was gentle..."

Astrid placing the brush in his hands is the answer he receives. She doesn't dare look at him, things have been so awkward since they reunited. Back when she was captured it was all she could dream about, just waking up one day to find Hiccup had come and saved her. But he didn't, he moved on and she had to save herself. She couldn't blame him, but she couldn't not be hurt by it either.

And Hiccup can't quite bring himself to forgive himself either. Not now, knowing she's been alive this whole time and he gave up. It is all he could do to be here now, to make up for his past sins. He had promised to stay with her this time, and he had to honor that promise.

Slowly, he runs the brush through her hair, starting at the ends and working his way up. She hums contently, leaning back a bit into his touch. He smiles, Merida never let him play with her hair and he missed these subtle moments with her. Merida...

He would have to tell her. Tell Astrid, that he had made his choice.

"I'm sorry that you're here taking care of me, especially this late when you've got her waiting at home." Astrid mumbles, clutching the thin fabric of her paper gown. "I know I must look so horrid to you."

"Astrid no..." He trails off when he sees her biting her lip, hard enough to draw blood. Gently, he cups her face and positions himself in front of her. "I see what they did to you, and that is horrid. I saw you that first time and I thought to myself that I would kill whoever was responsible for this."

'And I almost did,' he thinks to himself.

"But I see you in all of it. I see how hard you fought, and in true Astrid fashion you saved yourself. You are the strongest, bravest, most intelligent and kind woman I know, and there's so much beauty in that. In you." Hiccups leans forward then, his auburn hair falling into his eyes. "You're as beautiful as the day I lost you. And I promise to you right now Astrid Hofferson, that I will wait for you. Because I choose you. I chose you years ago and I will continue to choose you forever."

"But Merida..."

"I thought I loved her, I did. But I realized I only loved the parts of her that reminded me of you. I loved that fiery personality I missed in you, and her inability to back down from a fight. But where you held patience and compassion I found her lacking. I tried to turn her into you, but I couldn't. Because there is only one Astrid Hofferson, and I can't imagine a world without you in it. The past eight years have been a nightmare, and it breaks my heart knowing I didn't save you from it. But I'm here now, and I'm staying. I'm breaking things off with Merida, tomorrow."

Astrid couldn't stop it then, the silver tears dripping down her cheeks now. Slowly, Hiccup leans forward, and kisses each tear away as it falls, brushing his thumb over her lips.

"I can't imagine a world without you in it either." She whispers right as her lips meet his. Until horrible memories surface in her mind, and she jumps back as if in pain.

"Astrid!"

"Fine. I'm fine." She grunts, suddenly feeling ashamed of her sudden spike of panic. That is until Hiccup takes ahold of her hand and smiles softly. "I'm sorry."

"Never be sorry. I will wait for you." He sits back then, noticing her still shivering in the cold hospital room. "I brought something for you. All the stores were closed and I didn't have time to run by your house so I had to take them from mine. They might be a bit big since they're mine, but Dr. Corona said you could change clothes, so long as they are loose and open so I figured it would be fine." Hiccup says as he fishes out a large maroon colored shirt, one which Astrid recognizes well. He helps her to her feet, and unties her gown with trembling hands before turning around to give her privacy. Slowly and carefully she shrugs into the large top. It falls just above her knees but the sleeves bring a warm comfort to her chilled body. She smiles. It smells like him.

"You can turn around now."

"Let's get you into bed then." He says then stumbles over a chair when he catches sight of her in his clothing. Beautiful, she is so beautiful. She complies, crawling under the thin covers. Hiccup settles in the chair next to her, draping a thicker blanket over her drowsy frame. Before barely any time has passed she's asleep, her hand still resting in his. The young man smiles softly and presses a chaste kiss to her forehead before placing his head beside hers and dozing off himself.

Outside a young woman sighs heavily, her emerald eyes shuttering. For once in her life Dr. Rapunzel Corona had no idea what to do.

A/N: Two chapters in one night as a semi apology for disappearing for four years. But hey I'm back now and intend to finish this story! It was a fluffy chapter, don't worry the angst will return again next chapter.