Arrow

ch 3; shattered dreams

"Wow... It's very beautiful my lord..." Gwen exhales while gazing at the wonderful forest they have downward.
The wind was a slightly cold during this morning. But her mood couldn't get affected by the chilly air.
Despite the cold wind, the sun gives her some warmth. And being by Arthur's side makes her completely forget the cold.
She is purely happy.
Arthur runs an arm around her waist.
"But not as beautiful as you my lady" he flirts smiling at her.
She jerks giggling and looks happily at him while the light from the sun rise is hitting her face.

Merlin was packing down the used plates and the leftovers in the basket. Letting the desserts staying on the blanket. With a bottle of wine and two glasses.
He is wrinkling the nose from the cringy situation he is in. Or okay. It's not cringy. If anything it's a cliché. But he hates the situation anyway. He would rather stay at home and pretend this would never happen.
Since the day there Arthur brought him here, he has been thinking on Arthur constantly. The first though he had in the morning was about Arthur. And the last thought before he fell asleep was about Arthur. Arthur and Arthur. He was constantly thinking about the king. Which probably isn't weird since he works long days by Arthur's side. But it has never been like this. It's only the last week he has been thinking about him. Like all days.

Arthur smiles widely at her and starts looking for the ring in the pocket without pulling his eyes from her.
"Guinevere... For many people we are perhaps like day and night... Too different for each others... But- Without the day, it wouldn't be a night... The moon wouldn't shine without the sun shining on it...Gwen...You are my sun... And-..." he starts telling her while kneeling down. Leaving her breathless while her eyes start tearing up.
Arthur grabbed her hand gently and showed her the ring.
"It would be an honor if you would marry me and shine upon my life, for the rest of my life" he smiles while looking purely happy up at her.
Gwen puts a hand on her mouth and covered a wide smile.

Merlin furrows his eyebrows while tearing up too. But from other reasons than Gwen.
It feels as his breath has taken away from him. Like someone had kicked him on the gut. Which would have explained the tears who are threatening to fall.
And when he sees Gwen nod and saying yes to Arthur, it feels as his heart is breaking into two half.
A few tears fell.
Merlin wipes his cheeks and stands sniffling up from the blanket.
Perhaps he should feel happy for the people he cares about. The woman he had feelings for in the beginning of his life as man-servant for Arthur. And now, the man he has developed feelings for.
Maybe things were meant to end like this. At least he could feel happy for them. Even though it means he must ignore his own happiness.

***
Merlin walked hastily through the door and left the shoulder bag at the floor by the door.
"Hello Merlin... Are you already home?" Gaius asks despite it's obvious.
"Mm-... And I will be busy for a moment in my room... Let me know when it's time for dinner..." Merlin begs while walking upstairs.
"Alright then?" Gaius says and looks suspicious at Merlin.

Merlin sat down on the bed with his spell book on the lap.
Then he starts flipping through the book after the correct spell.
If he can't have Arthur then it's better forgetting his feelings for him and start over. In that way he would feel happy again and be happy for Gwen and Arthur's sake.
Merlin is flipping through the book about an hour when he understands he must choose another path. It seems it isn't possible to take the feelings away. But maybe it will be enough to forget them? Like erasing a week or two from his life... Perhaps his feelings for Arthur will be gone too? Since it wasn't until recently he started developing romantical feelings for Arthur.
Merlin opened the right page with the spell he was thinking about.
Then he sits upright while clearing his throat.
" ...Dimenticanza..." he says without anything happened.
He squirms frustrated and clears his throat again.
" Dimenticanza..." he repeats a slightly more determined.
But since nothing happens, he furrows his eyebrows and inhales deeply.
"Dimenticanza!" He says one more time. Finally he feels something happened. It's like a wave through his veins.
His eyes lits up in a golden color. And with the blink of the eye, the last two weeks starts vanish away. It feels as a dream you had during the night. And you could barely remember the dream while opening the eyes in the morning. But the second you sat up, the dream was forever gone. And no matter how much you tries remember it, you can't.