I fell in love with my Gay Bestfriend (ON HOLD)

Chapter 22 "I'm Sorry"

CHASE'S POV

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to react. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. I expected this. But not this soon. I'm still not prepared for this.

"So? Care to explain?" Nangungutyang tanong niya.

Nakita kong napayuko ang mga babae at iiling-iling naman yung mga lalaki. Maybe just like me, they're not expecting this to happen sooner than what we expected.

Napatingala ako sa kanya nung tumayo siya. Hinawakan siya sa braso ni Alex pero tinabig niya ito. Nanlilisik ang kanyang mata at nakatiim-bagang nakatingin sakin. Alam kong galit siya at parang binibiyak ang puso ko seeing her like that.

Brook used to be sweet and carefree. Yun bang parang hindi nagagalit. Kabaliktaran sa nakikita ko ngayon sa kanya.

BROOK'S POV

Mas lalo akong nainis ng wala akong may narinig ni isang salita sa kanya. Nakatingin lang siya sakin with blank expression. Hindi ko alam kung anong nasa isip niya.

I need to know why! Gusto kong malaman ang puno't dulo nito! Gusto kong malaman ang rason ng kanyang panggagago. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit niya ako niloko.

Damn! I deserve a fucking explanation!

"Ano?! Ba't di ka magsalita?" Sigaw ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. Unti-unti siyang tumayo at nagtangkang lumapit sakin. Agad ko naman tinabig ang kamay niya. Kapal niya para gawin yun!

"Don't you dare touch me asshole!" Singhal ko. Nakita kong nasaktan siya. Yea right! Kulang pa yan! Kulang na kulang pa kesa sa sakit na naramdaman ko nung niloko niya ko.

"B-brook. Please. Listen to me." Pagmamakaawa niya. Tinaasan ko lang siya ng isang kilay.

"I-I was desperate. Hindi ko alam kung pano ako mapapalapit sayo dahil nga mailap ka sa lalaki. I have no choice."

"Bakit mo gustong mapalapit sakin?" Mahinahong tanong ko.

"B-beacause I love you. Mahal kit-" Hindi ko na siya pinatapos. I laughed sarcastically and look straight in his eyes.

"Eh putanginang pagmamahal na yan pala eh! Mahal?! Do you even know what that means?! Kung mahal mo ko hindi mo ko sinaktan. Kung mahal mo ko di mo ko niloko." Unting-unti nang nanghihina ang boses ko. Pagod nako. Pagod na akong masaktan.

"Brook. Huminahon ka." Pang-aalo ni Jas. I scoffed.

"Huminahon? Gusto niyo kong huminahon?!" Singhal ko sa kanya. Nakita kong nanlaki ang mga mata niya. Maybe she's shocked. Can't blame them. Ngayon lang ako nila nakitang ganito. But I don't care anymore. Wala na akong pakialam sa iisipin nila. I just want this pain to let go. Matagal ko nang kinikimkim ito.

"H-hindi niyo alam ang naramdaman ko the moment I heard you two talking." Tinuro ko silang dalawa ni Lance at Chase. "Litong-lito ako. I can't think straight. I-I even asked those men at the bar para bastusin ako to know kung ano ang magiging reaction mo. And that night I realized na totoo nga ang narinig ko. Na totoong n-niloko mo ko." I was trying to hold back my tears. No. I don't want to give him the satisfaction. I don't want them to think that I am weak.

Nakita kong natulala siya. Maybe trying to absorb what I've said. Kahit sina Jas, Lala at Alex ay nakatulala rin. Habang ang mga lalaki ay nakatingin lang sakin. I don't know what they're thinking and I don't fucking care.

Pilit ko mang kalimutan ang narinig ko ay hindi ko magawa. Araw-araw, gabi-gabi akong nasasaktan tuwing sumasagi sa isip ko ang ginawa niyang katarantaduhan.

I thought he's a friend. I trusted him too much. He was there when I needed someone to talk to. He was there when I needed a friend. I loved him but then this happens. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to get angry with him. Gusto ko siyang kamuhian. Pero may isang parte ng puso ko ang ayaw magalit. And I hate this damn feeling.

I used to be in control over everything. But Chase came and ruined everything. I'm trying to control my heart and mind. I want to be angry. Pero hindi ko magawa. Damn, hindi ko magawa.

"I'm sorry. I-i'm sorry Brook. I really am." He said. Looks like any minute now eh iiyak na siya. Pero hindi ako natinag. I remain emotionless. Ayokong ipakita na mahina ako. I don't want him to see that I'm like a little girl crying because of scraped knee.

"Brook. Please hear him out. M-mabuti ang intention niya." Jas trying to defend him. Gusto kong mainis. Why are they defending Chase? Hindi ba nila alam na ako ang mas naaagrabyado dito? But I understand them. Maybe they see Chase in another way. Which is the opposite of what I'm seeing.

"The end cannot justify the means." I quote. They remain silent. I don't know what running through their minds and wala na akong balak alamin yun.

I face Chase. He's standing in front of me with his head down. "Chase." I called him. Tumingin siya sakin. His eyes are red. Umiiyak ba siya? Damn. Kahit naman galit ako ayoko rin naman siyang nakikitang ganyan. Well, he's a guy now right? And guys don't usually cry. And seeing him like that is kinda hurting.

I know he's hurt. Well, I am too! Ako yung niloko dito. Pero kung tignan parang ako pa yung nanakit. Damn.

"I can forgive you, but not now. I trusted you and you broke it. If you want my trust again, then work for it. I don't easily trust people who broke my heart. But everything will never be the same as before. I'm happy knowing that you love me, but I'm sorry I just can't appreciate it." Again, pain crossed his face. "You showed me your love in a wrong way. Please understand. I can forgive, but not forget." My voice cracked.

Bago pa ako maglupasay sa sahig eh tumalikod na ako at pumunta ng kwarto. I gathered my things and went out the resort. Good thing my mga bus pa kaya sumakay nako. Medyo marami rin kami ang sakay kaya okay lang.

I'll call Lance later to apologize for leaving. Ang bastos man pero siguro naman maiintindihan nila kung bakit ako umalis.

I just want to get away with the pain. Because the pain is too much. Too damn much.

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Sorry po for the typos and wrong grammars! I'll find time to edit IFILWMGB. For now, yan na muna. Sabaw ba? Pasensya na po. Bawi next time! Salamat sa mga nagbabasa! Love you guys. Todo-todo!

Hugs & Kisses,