Connected To Him (ManxMan)

Part 1: Chapter 34

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Chris was almost to the door leading outside, walking slowly due to how sore his legs were, when he faintly heard the sound of crying. Following the sniffling, he found Courtney sitting at the end of the other hall. She had her forehead resting against her knees which were pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs, holding her body in a tightly wound ball. Chris froze for only a moment before he sprung into action.

"Courtney!" He called a little too loudly.

Courtney brought her head up, taking a break from sobbing to watch as Chris scrambled over to her. For a moment, her heart filled with dread. In her misery she had remembered Chris, remembered how hopeful she was for them to have a relationship and remembered how long its been since she'd gotten any signs that he liked her back. Chances are she never had a chance and it was all in her imagination. She worried that having him near her would only make her feel worse. But the sight of Chris nearly tripping as he skid across the floor towards her made a laugh bubble out of her throat.

Chris slid next to Courtney, not caring about the dust he had just dragged onto his black pants, and sat down by her side.

"Are you okay?"

The question draws a sigh out of Courtney. The small smile on her face drops and she turns to look at the floor.

"Honestly, no." She admits in a whisper. "I'm not."

"What happened?"

Courtney is silent after hearing Chris' question. She's not sure how to answer it and eventually doesn't say anything at all. Chris watches Courtney with pursed lips, a concerned frown on his face. After a bit of hesitation, he decided to try again.

"You can tell me, Courtney." He insists, looking into her eyes the best he can with her staring  down at the floor. "I promise I won't judge."

Maybe it's the sincerity in Chris' voice as he said that. Maybe it's the way that he stumbled running up to her. Maybe it was because it was Chris who asked and she cared about him more than she even realized. Either way, Courtney told him the truth.

"I just feel really fucking ugly." She admits, laughing at the absurdity of it all. "I know it sounds dumb but it's the truth. I feel like I'm ugly from the inside out. Everytime I interact with someone. something happens that reminds me of how much they don't like me. And there are so many reasons to not like me! I mean my face, my body, my personality. The more I think about it the more I wonder how people could even stand to be around me because sometimes I can't."

"Courtney-"

"I'm sorry for putting this all on you," She apologizes, finally looking Chris in the eye to send him an apologetic look. "I guess even if I realize how terrible I am, that doesn't stop me from being terrible."

"Are you kidding me?"

Courtney blinked in surprise, finally taking in the frustrated look on Chris' face.

"Do you know who you are?" Chris asks. Courtney waited for Chris to continue, only to realize that he expected a response.

"Uh, yeah, I'm-"

"No, you don't."

"Wha-"

"You are Courtney. You are kind and outgoing and attentive. You are the first to reach out if someone's having a hard time and the last to leave someone in need. You laugh with your whole chest and always find it in your heart to forgive even if others don't deserve it. Not only that, you're also incredibly beautiful."