Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 35

"Was it hard for you to let go of someone that you love?"

"Hindi naman madaling magpalaya ng minamahal mo, anak..." Nanliit ang kan'yang mga mata. "Sapagkat dapat... dahil ang tunay na nagmamahal, nagpapalaya."

My lips curved into a thin line. I beg to disagree.

Hindi lahat ng solusyon sa pagmamahal ay ang pagpapalaya. Kailangan mo ring ipaglaban kung wala rin naman kayong natatapakang ibang tao. Nararapat na lumaban ka rin... at kung handa ring lumaban ang taong ipinaglalaban mo na lumaban kasama ka, hindi mo dapat palayain... dahil para sa akin, ang tunay na nagmamahal, gagawin ang lahat upang hindi ka mawala.

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita at pinanatili kong tikom ang aking bibig hanggang sa nagbukas ng bagong pag-uusapan si Tita. Pinilig ko ang aking ulo. As much as I want to hide from reality, I can't... because I have to face it. In order to get the freedom that I want, I have to acknowledge them.

"It must be so hard for you, huh? Na makita 'yong ama ni Archis," she pursed her lips. "That's my grandson's Father, right? It's Dr. Zavion..."

"He is..." I answered quietly.

"So what's your plan? He doesn't know the existence of his son. Eight years, Elvira. Eight years..."

"Tita, look," I tilted my head. "Let's just move-on," I said firmly. "If he found out about the existence of Archis, I won't stop him, but now that he doesn't know my secret, I will keep my mouth shut until the end. Maayos na ang buhay niya. Ayaw ko nang guluhin 'yon."

"You can't say that," ngumuso siya.

My lips curved into a grim line. Winaksi ko sa aking isipan ang huli niyang sinabi upang hindi ako makagawa ng aking iisipin.

When we got to the hospital, Father is still asleep. Wala rin si Mama dahil abala ito sa kan'yang negosyo. Pansamantala ring umalis si Tita dahil may nakalimutan siyang bilhin.

As I was looking at my Father's wrinkled face, I felt nothing, but a pure love towards her Father. Gusto ko nang matahimik. Ang tanging hiling ko na lamang ay maayos ko na ang lahat upang wala ng bigat ang aking dibdib. I want to fix my relationship with my parents, even though they don't feel the same. Siguro, kahit para na lang sa mga anak ko. Ayaw ko rin kasing may mapagsisihan ako sa dulo... dahil kung may pagsisisi, mayroong pangamba sa iyong puso... at habang-buhay kang hindi matatahimik.

"I'm not mad at you. I just don't know how to express my love for someone. You are always important to me, anak." He speaks in his soft voice. "But I'm sorry if I made you feel like that. Hindi ako galit at hindi kita kinamumuhian. Your Mother is still mad at you and I'm sorry for that. You don't deserve that," he smiles apologetically.

Papa was shocked when he saw me sitting near his hospital bed. Halatang hindi niya inaasahan na makikita niya pa ako muli. I quickly asked what he wants to eat but he refused to answer my question. Kinumusta niya ako hanggang sa lumalim ang usapan. Humingi ako ng patawad sa lahat ng aking nagawa ngunit tinawan lang niya ako. Aniya'y sila naman daw na mga magulang ko ang may kasalanan kaya nagkaganito.

It feels so awkward whenever Papa's staring at me. It looks like he's examining the whole me. Kinikilatis at sinusuri niya ako na para bang isang napakahalagang bagay kung ituring niya. Tingin ko ay impluwensya 'yon nang hindi namin pagkikita ng ilang taon.

"Where are my grandsons?" He asked in monotone.

Hindi ko pinagkakaitan na makilala ng aking mga anak ang kanilang Lolo't Lola. Of course, I would forbid them if they will hurt my sons. Hindi ko ipararanas sa mga anak ko ang ginawa nila sa akin.

"They are in mansion," I answered. "But if you want to see them, I can bring them here."

"Yes, yes, I want to see them. Parehas lalaki at kambal, 'di ba?"