Kya jaan na chahte ho Sidharth, I asked inspite of knowing what he wanted to, I wanted him to be vocal at least once with me, I know from that day when Aahnik has called his imaginary Dad in his dreams, he was affected a lot, inspite me being there for him he was still struck at that point, conditioned he didn't show it but I could feel it, reason still unknown but my mothers words rang in my ears, the words she spoke to me when my marriage was fixed with Vedant, Vedant Rai to be precise belonging to a well settled family but the irony even after being in the 21st century they were orthodox, not that I had a problem, because I had accepted him whole heartedly but as my first instinct warned it was eventually what led us to part ways.
" Amma Shaadi ke baad mujhe padhne denge, job karne denge" She asked her mother after hesitating a lot, it was a yesterday her father told her about this particular rishta and she was quiet inquisitive about the same.
" Shehnaaz shaadi karne wali hai, Apne se upar apne parivaar ko rakhna, shayad na karne de par kya farak padhta hai ," Her mother spoke breaking that innocent heart for a moment.
" Shaadi hai Maa, efforts dono taraf se hone chaiye, main apni zindagi badal thodi dungi, mujhe padhna hai aage, agar main apna sapna chodungi toh kya voh ladka bhi chodega,just like me equality honi chaiye na ", a 21 year old Shehnaaz tried talking to her mother, yes she was getting married, no it wasn't forced because she agreed, the reason because she promised her father that she would marry whosoever he had wanted once she was done with her bsc and what else a middle class girl like her wanted, only the happiness of her her parents, only if she knew that this marriage wasn't the one for her, she was a free bird being the only daughter of her parents, the family her father selected for her wasn't the same but she knew one thing she wasn't going to be a caged bird ever, her parents never made her one then how could she be one all of a sudden.
"Sab karte hai gudiya, shaadi ke baad teri zindagi teri nahi rahegi bacha, uspar tere pati ka tere naye parivaar ka haq hoga na, aur voh kyun apna sapna chodega", her mother spoke.
" Patni ban na hai Maa, naukrani nhi, I could compromise why couldn't he" She retorted.
"Sirf pati nhi na bacha, teri language main bole toh tera soulmate, the one you would give your soul too voh sab hoga na voh, apne aap dekhna pata bhi nhi chalega zindagi kaise beet gayi, dekhna tu usse usse behtar jaanegi, uske dard uski khushiyaan sab kuch tere se pehle aayega Shehnaaz aur phir tere sapne tujhe khud chote lagenge, apke parivaar ke khushiyon ke aage" Her mother spoke the exact same thing she was taught by her mother and was gone before Shehnaaz could grasp what she said, after all she was just 21 at that time, she needed to fly before she steps in the household, she needed to stand on her own feets before she made someone else's home.
" Baki kal mil lena jab voh log aayenge" She again heard her mother's voice from far.
Remembering her mother's words once more she knew one thing now the soulmate her mother talked about was Sidharth never Vedant, it could never be him even after those few months of courtship she did, her first revolt against his family, with Sidharth she never tried because she wasn't interested in investing emotions again but he just cracked open her shell and seeped in her soul without even trying She thought, though she still keeps her principles love life intact but true to her mother's words she was able to feel his pain without him speaking it out.
Kahan kho gayi Shehnaaz, he asked clicking with his fingers in front of my eyes.
Kahin nhi, bolo kya bol rahe the, she asked getting up from her place and standing by the railing on the terrace gazing up at the stars, they always fascinated her. She believed in them but everyone considered it as a child like fascination only if they knew it was never that, how could it be, constellations, space stars sun they are what she wished to study, she wanted to pursue astronomy only if the fate was in her favour or so she thought, but she was always grateful to the Almighty above, two strong reasons for the same, one of them was beside me at present
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𝕀ℤ𝕋𝕀ℝ𝔸𝔸ℝ
PoetryFeeling helpless and powerless by the power of love is like a drug that they don't sell over the counter....... "Muskurana tu ki jaise waabasta nhi mere iztiraar se, Tujhe bhi toh kabhi hui hogi mohabbat vasl-e-intihaan tak kisi se" Shehnaaz Singh...
