𝕀ℤ𝕋𝕀ℝ𝔸𝔸ℝ

7.

SHEHNAAZ

Was I still cursing my fate for what happened ? No, I wasn't the one to hold on grudges ever. I agree I did hold them on for a few years now for some people who were a part of my life once maybe still are, But do they cared? No they didn't. Am I wrong in not forgiving them? Should I as a daughter forget what ever happened as they were my parents or should as a mother actually stand on the same pov I'm at present, I really don't know, I have no idea, I won't say life has been harsh on me because I have seen people suffering worst too but then it wasn't easy too, I have faced as many hurdles as I could in these years, but never once I cursed my life, I just have one life and cursing it means cursing what my parents gave me and I can't ever do that, it was what it was maybe not full of roses but enough for me to survive in this harsh world, but still there was some hope that maybe just once they would try to contact me, just a single word of love, I don't even need an apology because what I needed was LOVE, only LOVE which a child always craves for, even after whatever they did I can't deny them being ky parents and I knew I might forgot whatever happened if they just called me once. But that never happened, never in these 5 years they tried contacting me as if I was dead for them, all they did was to still stand firm on that decision as if it was the best decision they took but guess what it was the worst for me, they considered society but what about me the only child they had, But they considered as if it was me who failed as daughter.

I just want an answer, couldn't parents be wrong ever? I agree they did a lot for me, maybe even more than I could ever do for Aahnik, but the time I needed them the most, what they did was to choose this society over me, their so called self prestige over their daughter, but were they wrong? For me yes they were but for them maybe not. They believed that I was failing their upbringing, the same upbringing that made me what I'm today, strong, firm and broad minded.

Keeping grudges made my heart heavy and probably I might not look at life the way I'm doing it at present. I don't know why I shared it with Ashu but as I have realised I needed to went it out, maybe just by telling someone which I didn't in these years, yes I had Sanchi but I couldn't hold her off guards for everything I was going through when I knew her life was much more complicated than mine.

From the time Ashu had gone I realised what I was missing these years, I lacked companionship, definitely not a partner because I lack trust on relationships now but just someone who won't judge meme, who will understand me as a person, as what I'm and not what they wants me to.

" Shehnaaz you can't take this decision, I am not in this favour"

"Why Papa? I'm not doing anything wrong"

"You are Sana, samajh na bacha"

"Kya samjhoon main Mumma, mera bacha hai voh"

"Kisi aur ka khoon hai voh Shehnaaz, pta nhi kis ka... "

" Bas Papa, mera bacha hai voh aap samjhte kyun nhi hai"

*Shehnaaz! "

"Ruk kyun gaye Papa maar, lijiye par aapke kehne se ab kuch hoga nhi, joh ho gaya hai usse badloge kaise aap"

"Bas Shehnaaz, agar tera yehi faisla hai toh bhool jaa hume, bol voh Bacha ya phir tere maa baap"

"Papa.... Maa aap kuch boliye na papa ko"

"Bas Shehnaaz, Hume hamari izzat pyaari hai, issi duniya main rehna hai hume "

"Theek hai papa aap apni izzat rakhiye, main Apne bache ko dekhungi, mere liye na hi aaj tak kabhi ye society matter ki hai na hi aage karegi, but I wish aap samjh pate mujhe"