The Ones We Didn't See

Party of Three and RSVP's

4x20/4x21 TOW All The Wedding Dresses and TOW The Invitations

This depicts both Rachel and Ross's POV's around the time of his engagement to Emily. I know the two don't line up chronologically - they aren't supposed to! I think this really explores their inner battles about each other - the way they can't quite give it up, but they can't quite give in either. It's where the Ross and Rachel roller coaster really got started in my opinion. Hope you enjoy. Please review! :)

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She stirred from her sleep, a little unsure of the state of her consciousness, as her hand instinctively felt the empty side of her bed next to her. She blinked her eyes to let them adjust to the light in an attempt to read the time on her alarm clock. 3:16am. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept through the night. She looked again at the empty pillow beside her. After all this time, it was still instinct to reach for him in her sleep. These days, her dreams were the only moments of her life where she didn't hurt...where it could be just them. She looked forward to them desperately. They always felt so real, like nothing had changed. Like the world was on pause so that she could recreate those moments - little places in time that belonged to just the two of them. If she was lucky, she usually had about 5-10 seconds after waking up where she didn't remember everything - where the pain didn't hit yet. A tear rolled down her cheek as the fleeting memories of the past were replaced with the bitter present that flooded her mind once more. She'd give anything to go back to before... when their "I love you's" were so innocent and his eyes were still magic. Like everything after that had never been.

She closed her eyes and tried to shut off the thoughts haunting her brain, but it was a lost cause. She sat up and turned on the lamp beside her bed and reached for the envelope that had made an unwelcome home on her nightstand.

Ms Rachel Green

X Will Attend
X Will Not Attend

The words glared at her, mocking her almost. She had no idea what to do. Either decision would feel wrong. He was one of her closest friends. They said they were fine. It would make him so upset. But being there, seeing him marry another woman... she couldn't bear the thought. What's worse was that she even had to make the decision in the first place. The fact that this was even up for discussion was still plaguing her. This was so far from what she thought it would be. In the back of her mind, she always thought it would be a later or a maybe... that one day he would walk through the door and grab her by the waist and prove to her with some grand gesture how much he loved her...and that would be enough.

She longed for the life they almost had.

If she had not written that letter. If she had not let Mark come over that night. If she had called him sooner...maybe things would be different. But she didn't do any of that.

Could she really blame him for leaving if she was the one who let go?

All because she was too damn scared. She didn't even know if she loved him... but she did know that she always wanted him to choose her. Now she was left to fake a smile and carry on with her life and somehow figure out how to get over him. How could she watch him give his heart to someone else? The thought of Ross with Emily wrecked her. Thinking about him kissing her or making love to her didn't bother her. What bothered her was thinking about him telling Emily all of his secrets... calling her on his lunch break just to say 'hey'... cuddling with her in bed the way they used to... Emily looking into those dark brown eyes, that used to be all for her, as he whispers "I love you". It was the little moments like that... the ones that used to mean so much to her, that somehow felt like they were created only for the two of them. It somehow cheapened everything they had together in her mind.