The Ones We Didn't See

Blazing Trails and Park Rangers

3x16 TOW The Morning After

Ross and Rachel's perspectives from the break to the breakup, and a little after. All scenes are in italics. I hope it gives a fresh perspective on it. Sorry, I just had to do it  - don't hate me!

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Rachel laid on the couch in her apartment as she grappled with the reality of the past 24 hours. Her head pounded from the stress of her sobs as she desperately tried to draw in enough air. Her body had given out. She had used every ounce of energy inside of her on the torrents of tears that had poured from her eyes. Her existence had shattered into a million tiny pieces and she couldn't find the strength to try and put herself back together. As she stared at the wall, motionless, she felt herself slipping away. Her grief came in waves, almost like she was mourning a death. It was a death though - a death of the belief in a great love, different from all the rest. She no longer believed that a man was capable of being truly good and of giving her what she knew she deserved. That was lost the second he walked out of the apartment and into that bar - into the arms of someone else.

She desperately wanted to go to sleep but the thought of lying in her bed, in the same sheets he had laid in, with the same pillows he had touched, seeing the same shadows dancing on the wall that she saw while wrapped in his arms at night....a sharp pain pierced her insides. She couldn't even go into her bedroom because everything in there made her think of him. It had been their sacred place. But the unfortunate reality was that it wasn't just her bedroom that reminded her of Ross - it was everything. She couldn't escape it - she couldn't escape him. He had become a part of everything.

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Ross leaned against the wall of the shower as the tears from his eyes mixed with the hot water cascading down his body. He reached for one of Rachel's shampoo bottles that still lined the shelf. Holding it close to him, he was desperate to take in her coconuty scent once more. The gut-wrenching pain in his stomach slowly seeped through his insides. His thoughts were tortured by her - the girl from the copy place. He knew her name, but it wasn't worth saying.  Images of her haunted him whenever he closed his eyes; dancing with him, kissing him, her naked body moving against his. He had been so blindly drunk that everything was blurry, including his memory, but her voice still echoed in his ears. He could still feel her warm breath on his skin...it burned. He scrubbed his skin over and over until it was red and raw, desperate to remove the memory of her.

The ache in his chest was so deep that it strangled his lungs. He pulled back the shower curtain to reach for a towel and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His five o'clock shadow was well-pronounced. His eyes were sunken and red. He didn't even recognize the man looking back at him. He hated that man. A shockwave seared through his bloodstream and he lunged towards the mirror with his fist. A scream escaped his lips as he collapsed to the floor, water still dripping from his body. Pain shot through his hand like a bolt of electricity but he didn't care. He deserved to feel the pain.

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He watched her walk across the living room, but she felt miles away from him already.

She questioned if the man she had given her heart to was ultimately afraid of all she had to offer.

"Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you're, you're, you're making this too hard!"

His pride couldn't accept that accusation. It took two people to get them in this situation after all.

"Oh, I'm making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do?"