Grandiloquent Desires

Chapter 1: An Instance of an Unexpected Event

For me, love is nothing but a nuisance—a dangerous obsession.

Yes.

Never once again in my life will I think about falling in love, be it with family or any other person. 

My parents were so lovey-dovey with each other, but they got into a serious fight and filed a divorce. Why would they marry each other and have a son if they are going to be easily daunted just because they had a misunderstanding?

Just the mere thought of love, especially romance, makes my blood boil. Sometimes, I even feel nauseous about it. Call me cliched, I know. 

Why do people fall in love anyway, when they will only be separated at some point and cause a lot of unnecessary and annoying drama? It's better to just commit oneself in the field of education—they get knowledge and other things more important about love and affection.

I find myself disappointed. I cannot begin to understand why. If I recalls correctly, one of the goals of why people fall in love is reproduction. I find myself asking some questions. 

Do people love just to reproduce? 

Furthermore, the idea of giving all of one's self to a person... it's just it too disgusting.

I am very positive that it's just a bug in the human brain's circuitry. They say that there are many kinds of love—and I resent everything about it. I can even say that I also abhor love for one's own.

Yes.

I also hate myself.

I remember the time when I perhaps last felt love. I remember the feelings of loving something or someone, many unexpected things happen to the point that what is loved may steer away and vanish into nothingness. 

It's sad. 

I am tired of being sad.

≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪

October 2. 

It was a regular Monday morning, as far as I am concerned.

The tenth grade classes were normal—acing everything ranging from quizzes and lessons without any difficulty is nothing new to me. I sit on my chair, not minding what's even happening, I start to feel drowsy.

"Hey, Charlie!" one of my classmates, John Ericson, called out. I didn't look in his direction and just ignored him, giving him a cold shoulder. "Ah! You're being so cold again! That's why you don't have friends, you know?"

"Friendship. Do I need that? Can it be eaten? I don't need friends, John," I replied without any second thoughts. "If that is what you want, then consider leaving me alone. You are disturbing me."

John put up a gloomy face, seeming to be disappointed. "Aww man, I thought that I could ask you something, but you are so cold," he said with obvious crocodile tears.

"If you want to ask me a question, you should've asked it sooner" I replied. "Those 'dramatic' and 'overreacting' tears are quickly becoming annoying."

"Yay! Charlie agreed to let me ask a question!" John said happily as if he was a child who received candy.

"So? What is the question?"

"Have you noticed something unusual already?" asked John.

The question itself was unusual. With my attitude, however, it's likely that I haven't noticed what he wants me to notice, thus his question.