loverboy - josh kiszka

1.

   The old metal swing set creaked beneath my weight as I swung slowly, moving a few inches forward, then a few inches back. I held a half smoked joint in my hand cursing myself for rolling one when I swore I was done smoking. Yeah, right.

The temperature was dropping and I was thankful for my green sweater I sported, no matter how bad the fabric itches. The leaves above me danced on their branches and I almost wished I was up there with them so I could dance too.

I brought the joint to my lips, inhaling deeply before letting out a small laugh, sending the smoke out with it. What a bitch life felt like until I was high. Through the wind, I heard my name. It drifted through the air, carried by the gusts of cold wind that slapped through my hair. I glanced back and saw Ivy running up to me.

I immediately brought the joint down towards the outside of my thigh and gave her a smile. "You don't have to hide it, I already know." She said, approaching me with a sly grin. "Know what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, still trying to play it cool. Like an idiot.

Ivy was my little sister, already small for her age, and smarter than me probably. She sat down next to me on the other swing and I couldn't help but smile at how tiny she looked sitting there, her bony wrists wrapping around the chains. "Po," She gave me a look, "It reeks."

   I lifted the joint back up and she laughed. I offered it to her and she gave me that look again. God, she was so much smarter than me. She was also twelve so I knew better anyways. I inhaled it again, glancing back up towards the leaves where they danced and danced, and watching it gave me an ache in my chest.

"You okay Po?" Ivy asked me, her voice cutting through my thoughts. "I wish I was those leaves up there." I answered, looking at her and as I said it a laugh escaped from my mouth realizing just how crazy I sounded. She began to giggle and soon we were both in a fit of laughter that brought the ache away from my chest.

We sat there for a few moments longer after our laughing died down so that I could finish my joint and she could tell me about her day. It was getting colder and colder but my chest felt warm and I knew my eyes were already low. She carried on and on in the way only twelve year olds can do and as her devoted sister, I listened or at least tried to. It's the thought that counts.

"Are you going to hang out with Jake today?" She asked me suddenly, glancing up towards the sky. I knew she was worried because it had started to get dark and she always got worried when I was out late. She said it was because she wanted me to be safe, but I knew it was because she liked when I put her to bed. She'd never admit it, but it wasn't exactly a secret.

Sometimes when I stayed out late with Jake, he'd come back to the house with me and as we made our way to my room, we'd pass by her open door, where she'd be pretending to sleep. As soon as we'd enter the room she'd open an eye and smile. We'd stay up for a little while so she could talk until finally, her eyes would start to close again and we'd lay down on both sides of her and I'd play with her hair as Jake would hum a tune.

I'd done it since she was a little kid but when Jake started coming over more often, I found she enjoyed his company as well. She also had a little crush but she'd kill me if I ever told. I never said a word. Sisterly duties and all.

"I think I will. They're probably gonna play a little in the garage so you know I always like to listen for a while." I shrugged like it was no big thing but secretly, I loved it more than anything. Jake and his brothers and our friend Danny had a little band thing going on and they were so good I wished I had any type of musical ability so that maybe I could be a part of it too.

In the meantime though I was like their little groupie and I was okay with that too. Ivy smiled up at me before shivering dramatically. "Would you like to go home?" I asked her, an eyebrow raised. She nodded her head quickly, her mess of blonde curls bobbing up and down. I stood up and jerked my head a little, motioning for her to come on.

We walked through the grass, leaves crunching beneath our feet and I felt her hand slip into mine, trying to crawl it's way up into my sweater sleeves. "I hate your sweater." She commented.

"Its Jakes."

"I was just being dramatic, it's not so bad."

I snorted. This kid.