FRAGRANCE | u. itachi

三十一 | But I'm still here, aren't I?

"Frustrated?"

She briskly wiped away any signs of tears with her palms. "I have always thought I could defy destiny. But the truth is, I can't do anything. His death just slaps me in the face that I really can't do anything. Even though I know how everyone will die, I can only just watch them walk straight to death." She sniffled as she tilted her head back. "I just feel like it's all my fault."

Itachi let her words sink into the silence as he tried to think of something to say that wouldn't worsen the situation like it normally would. He was tempted to give her some philosophical lecture, but he immediately pushed that thought out of his head.

And as he looked at her, he was reminded of himself, his foolish past self. He was once just like her, wavering to emotions as he witnessed a war first hand at four and seeing comrades after comrades fallen. But through the years, he had become numb to death.

But as for her? She was still inexperienced of the world. She had yet to come to embrace that time wouldn't stop even if everyone in the world were to perish. She had yet to achieve zen with the true painful and worldly nature of life.

He watched her hug onto her knees, her eyes filling with fresh and pure sadness. She seemed to be struggling hard not to cry. A layer of tears welled in her eyes and once she blinked, tears fell down her cheeks and a sharp breath left his lips.

"Don't cry." His words tumbled out, tender and warm, surprising even himself.

She wiped her eyes against her knees. "I can't help it."

His brows furrowed, hating how she was in tears every time he saw her. And he wished she would smile more. He knew he once told her he didn't like her smile, but to tell the truth, that wasn't far from a lie. He did like her smile. It was sweet and innocent.

He lowered his voice as he tore his gaze away. "Then would letting it out make you feel better?"

She looked up, her tears wavered in her eyes. She sank her teeth into her quivering lips as she nodded.

He let out a soft breath and stood up. "Alright. Then let it out. I'll leave you to have the time to yourself," he told her as he glanced towards the ceiling, weary. "Don't dwell too much on things you cannot change. It would do you no good to ever blame yourself," he spoke, giving his last attempt to find words of consolation. And with that, he turned to leave her.

But before he could make his way out, she instantly shot up from where she sat as she grabbed onto the edge of his sleeve. She tugged him back, her gaze lowering.

He let out a sigh. "What is it?"

She clenched her fists onto his cloth. "Can you. . ." Her voice tumbled out, her brows drawing together. "Just for a second. Please. . ." She murmured, her voice feeble and on the verge of crumbling down.

And although she didn't say what she wanted, Itachi understood from the look in her eyes. He dropped his gaze, his jaw clenching in hesitation. But when he glanced at her eyes, he found himself surrendering as he reached for her. He placed his hand at the back of her head as he stiffly pulled her towards him. "Just this one time, understand?" he breathed out as he awkwardly held her.

She sniffled as she laid her forehead against his chest, blinking down her tears. She nodded as she sobbed softly, her warm breathing flushed against his chest and her tears stained his shirt. The silence engulfed them as he rubbed her back to ease her faint cry.

He didn't like the feeling of being intimate with her, but he found himself relaxing the more she stayed in his embrace. It was just a harmless act of comfort and neither of them should think much of it.

The Fragrance sniffled as she buried her face into his chest. "In the end, just like Sasori, you will leave too," she muffled almost inaudibly.

His eyes grew sombre as he looked down at her. "But I'm still here, aren't I?"

She closed her eyes. "I just don't want that day to come."

"I know," he cooed as he stroked her hair. "But you understand it's merely inevitable, right? Me and even you, we both will leave; life is not eternal."

A painful laugh scraped out of her throat. "That's exactly what Sasori told me."

"Is it? But did he also tell you what is eternal?"

She shook her head.

"Memories," he muttered as his face softened. "It will always be there with you."

At his words, her breath hitched as she probed her head up at him. Her round eyes wavered before they morphed into acceptance. She pressed her lips into a sad frown as she closed her eyes. They both lapsed off into silence and only the soft sound of their breath could be heard.

And as she stayed within his arms, for an injustificable reason, he found himself truly worried for her. She was not much younger than him, but she still had a lot to learn. He wouldn't always be there to give her emotional support nor protect her. There would ultimately be a day he would face the same fate Sasori did.

It was strange to feel a rush of pain when he thought of how she would react if he were not there anymore. And it pained him even more to think that he could not - and was never in the place to - cherish her happiness.

His face darkened as he shook off the fleeting feeling that overcame him.

It didn't matter. Eventually, she would have to learn to accept the cruelty of this world.

*

𝐹𝑅𝐴𝐺𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸
うちはイタチ