Home. (L.N.)

34. Monza

When Daniel and I leave the paddock for the day I realize I haven't spoken to Lando at all the past two days. Neither have I seen him around, the only times were when he was in his car on the track. It's like he is avoiding me. If I would be with Haas or any other team today it wouldn't be unusual, but I actually spend the whole day at the McLaren home. With my thoughts hanging on to him I walk quietly next to Daniel and his trainer Michael. Suddenly Mick appears next to me walking towards the exit as well. "Are you sure you want to do this all public?" He just jumps right into the concerns he mentioned all week long, since I've told him about the plan for the weekend. "I will be fine. It's just what I need to do Mick." "But you don't want to" his eyes lay calm on me while we let us fall a little behind the men. "I don't have much of a choice ? It's not just my own now, I have to consider the image of Daniel and the others as well. I try to make it the best for everyone. There wouldn't be anything worse then a bad light on you Mick just because of my private life, that I don't have in control." My voice gets actually louder till the end. I get emotional about this. Originally I thought I would be fine with whatever they want me to do to be likable but it's so much pressure of being perfect. Daniel looks worried over his shoulder to check on me, but when he sees Mick he continues his way. In his eyes the young German and my little argument is not his business and that's absolutely right. The blonde driver on the other hand pulls me into a tight hug. My ear is pressed against his chest and his arms lay around my head like walls. He covers me and my face for moments from the outside world. It's just my brother and I for a moment, yes a brother. I would be stupid not to call him like that, because what we have is so much more then friendship. I breath heavily against his shirt and he gently rubs my back. "You don't have to do all of this. Just ignore them all." He whispers in my ear. The pain in the voice is clear, it hurts him as much as it does me to be forced into the public. We both just want to be normal. We are not made for attention. We both just want to follow our passion, he just wants to drive and I just want to support friends. It's not fair. "It's to late" I mumble against his body. And he sights.

"Really?" Daniel looks at me enjoyed with a red head. He just came back from a run around the track and I film him jogging my way. He purposely shows me both middlefingers, which makes me laugh so hard behind the phone that I loose the balance on the barrier I am sitting on. While I am desperate to grab the cold metal to get grip, two massive hands lay on my shoulderblades and push me up again. For a heartbeat I thought that would've ended badly. While Daniel cracks up about my near fall, I turn around to my rescuer. "You ok?" I sight. It's Carlos in his bright red Ferrari suit. He still holds a hand on my back as if he is still worried I would fall down again any minute. "Yep, thank you." I choose to better climb down the barrier and when I finally stand with my both feet on the ground the Spanish driver lifts his hand of my back. He gives Daniel and myself a nod. Out of the corner of my eye I see how Daniel leans with his hands on his knees and gives Carlos a thumbs up while trying to catch breath. Judging by the color of his head, that is brighter than the Ferrari suit that Carlos is wearing, his head could explode anytime. "Alright then" Carlos mumbles and turns around again to begin his track walk with his team. I give Daniel a deathly look while walking towards him. "You would've let my die" I give him a smack against his upper arm. He now starts laughing again but holds the area of his arm I smacked him. I shake my head but finally start smirking at him. How could I be mad at him, it is my own stupidity. I acknowledge my phone in my hand which is still recording and turn it towards Daniel. "This guy will kill me one day" Our eyes meet over the camera, before he grabs the phone out of my hand. He turns it towards me and I just stand there helpless. He acted so fast I couldn't resist in any way. "Do you think I will win today" he grins but my eyebrows rise. "You better do? I want only the best vibes on my birthday." I grin at him. "Deal. I will win then. " He stops the recording and hands me over the phone again. "I mean it. I will win" he says to me. It's the second time in a row that drivers predict their win to me, surely Daniel is more than capable of it and it's time for him to get some pressure of his shoulder. He is so caring about my and my reputation that I forget that I am actually the only close friend that he has around on the tracks most of the time. Surely when there would be a race in Australia it would be a different level and at Silverstone, Monaco or the US Gp he has friends attending but in countries like Italy or France it's just me. And I have a little responsibility to support him no matter what. "I know" I grin at him. If he says so, it will happen. What we didn't notice is the McLaren CEO a few meters from us watching the two friends closely. A little grin grows on his face as he pleased turns away from them, he just knows that Anna is yet so underrated and she will grow immensely.