15⋅Catharsis

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[Candy's POV]

I sit across from Party, watching him eating, probably not even aware of me even if I've had my gaze fixed on him for a hot minute while thinking about how much I want to take him in my arms and press my lips to his. And I tried to do it. Yesterday, today in the morning. As much as I try to do it, to touch him or anything, I remember about Perfect Denial and can't help but to imagine him doing that.

This whole thing is stupid, in my opinion. Poison is mine, not Denial's. The way I need to stop myself from kissing Poison because I know Denial did it at some point and his smug face comes to my mind during every single attempt is ridiculous. I shouldn't be acting like this, I'm better than this.

"Man," Kobra says as he sits down next to me, "why is everyone so depressed suddenly?"

A chuckle escapes my lips and I shake my head, pushing my empty can away. "Not depressed. I'm mostly tired, to be honest." My elbow rests on the table, my chin resting on my palm.

"You're not tired, you're bored!" The corner of Kobra's lips curl up into a smile – Party proves he's been actually paying attention to everything with a roll of eyes. "You had a good time at Hyper Thrust last time, didn't you? Why don't you and Party go have some fun together? I would offer to take the guys and I with you, but Jet and I gotta work on my bike and I don't think it'd be a good idea to send Ghoul with you." He presses his lips together, looking at me questioningly.

Kobra isn't wrong. It may help clear my mind.

"Of course!" Poison says with a grin. "I think that'd be rather nice. Not to mention that I never really took (k/n) for a date or just to have fun, so it'd be good having some time for each other like this." And he's just so lovely – I can feel this heavy weight on my chest.

"Yeah, sure! I love the idea," I answer quickly to at least make it up to all the coldness I've given him lately and my heart sinks at the same time it flutters at how his eyes light up.

The corner of Kobra's lips curl up into a smile, but I can easily tell there's something behind it. I raise an eyebrow at him, but all he does is to shrug, carrying on eating. These guys are a bit more clever than they seem to be and it shows through the time. No wonder why they're so good at what they do.

Later in the day, Party and I are getting ready to go to Hyper Thrust, changing alongside each other and exchanging a few words plus opinions. His presence doesn't trigger this agony in my stomach as strongly as it did before and I can bear having the tip of his fingers grazing against mine whenever handing each other a chain or a shirt. Not perfect, but good enough.

You just gotta handle it until arriving at Hyper Thrust, (k/n). Maybe until a drink.

Traveling through the desert alone by ourselves isn't as intimidating as it should be. You get used to it after some point – some areas have no roads or anything and people rarely take the same route, so it's either this or nothing.

We reach a rather peaceful area, which is also beautiful considering the warm tones of the sunset bathing it, maybe comfortable if it wasn't for my mind racing at the simple fact Party's hand is resting on mine right now. No big deal. At first. My mind, however, ended up racing and overthinking and, fuck, maybe Denial was right. Poison is going to change me for someone more interesting sooner or later. How many times has he driven with his hand in someone else's? Or taken them to Hyper Thrust to chill? Sat on their lap while eating?

"(K/n)?" Party asks, the car coming to a stop. Why? "Are you okay? You, um, you're breathing heavily, your grip is too tight and you're... crying."

My eyes widen, my hand meets my cheek immediately, compelling a frustrated groan to escape my throat. Couldn't things get worse? I swallow thickly, trying to dry my face as fast as possible. Pathetic.

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