Emergency Medical Dad

XXXVII: early july, present

"Don't go all 'you're pretty' on me."

"I wasn't. I was going to tell you I don't like swimming for the same reason," I nudge her shoulder with my upper arm, smiling down at her. "And I was going to tell you that if you don't want to get in, you don't have to, because I don't think that I will."

"Really?"

"Mhmm," I smile. "Come here." It's everything natural, wrapping my arm around her back and tucking her against my chest. She takes to it in an interesting way, spinning against the side of my chest so that she can still watch the surroundings while still having her head against my collar and one arm around my lower back, hugging my body to hers.

Her fingers trace up the front of my long sleeve shirt, absently playing with the seal of the letters on the front, just a simple WOLVES HOCKEY text logo and nothing else. Her fingers toy closer to my collar, pulling her finger along the side of the black chain lodged down in my shirt. I don't respond, just shuffle us forward in the line.

She gets up the right type of courage and pulls it out of my shirt, the black dog tag catching her by surprise. I watch out of the corner of my eye as her fingers flip it over, inspecting the silver Star of Life symbol on the front, the six pointed star filled with the staff of asclepius. The staff was wielded by the Greek god of medicine and healing in the myths and the six points of the star, information that has been drilled into me for years now, mean detection, reporting, response, on-scene care, care in transit and transfer to definitive care.

Jessie's fingers flip over the tag, standing up on her toes to look closer at the lettering. I know what it says by heart. I could repeat it in my sleep. If you woke me from the dead I could come up with it before my own name. AB- blood type, AK left leg amputee, PTSD.

"What does this mean?" Jessie asks, all soft and quiet so as to not catch the attention of the people around us.

"Medical alert," I rub my hand across her shoulder absently, whether to relax her or out of a need to be closer, I'm not sure. "It's so if I get into an accident, they don't accidentally kill me."

"Oh."

"It would be a bracelet if my conditions were more likely to cause emergencies at random, bracelets are what we check for the fastest. It's only a necklace because my conditions won't cause medical emergencies in places where I won't be conscious and if I were to be in a medical emergency, none of the information spare for my rare blood type would be needed immediately."

She's absorbing the information, rubbing her thumb across the metal.

"In the situations where I might need to present that information but would be unable, of which the PLP might be one of the only ones I can think of off the top of my head, I could at least pull out the alert and show it to responders to alert them that I wear one."

She nods, "so it's a precaution?"

"Mhmm."

"I thought for a second you had a military career I didn't know of."

I smile at that, tucking my head down so that nobody can hear us, "once, I was wearing shorts and my alert and I couldn't convince this lady at a store that I wasn't a veteran. I sell the picture alright, missing leg, dog tag, big build, but I couldn't convince her I wasn't, and I walked out on accident with a military discount."

She's smiling, "Jay, secret fighter pilot."

"They'd hate me in a fighter plane."

"Why? Too tall?"

I nod, "too tall and not stocky enough. I'm too long with my extremities too far away from the bulk of my body. Blood would flow out to my hands and feet in high pressure much faster than someone who has shorter arms and legs and it would cause me to pass out faster. That and I don't think I could fit myself into one of the planes. I'm about a foot too tall."

She's smiling, lips open to try again, "Jay, secret naval captain," she thinks on it a minute, then sets her chin on my chest and looks up at me, "though I think you'd be much too big to fit into a ship bunk."

"Maybe a little," I look back down at her, hand now placed gently across her ribs. "Though, if I were high enough up, do you think I'd get my own room?"

She frowns, "not sure, I wouldn't even know who to ask."

I poke her nose to get her to stop frowning and offer: "well, it's a good thing I'm not looking to go into the military."

I mentally slap myself for what I twitched to do the second the conversation paused. I absolutely should not set my chin on her head and wait through the last person in the line. I absolutely should not touch my lips to her head. I absolutely should not give her a tiny kiss to seal off the end of the conversation.

"Jay Hadley?" The man at the window calls out, reminding me that Jessie was the one that put in my name.

I release my arm from around her back and step forward, picking up the bag and nodding to him, walking back toward Jessie where she leads me out the door.

It happens more than once, the sudden strangling urge to give her a short tiny kiss. It happens after lunch when I'm cleaning the plates and she comes over to check on me, it happens after changing into our swimming suits when we're standing at the door, it happens when she looks over at me at the end of the dock, feet splashing in the water.

Simple, stupid, fluffy, casual affection. Domesticity. Nothing else. No urge to take it further, no urge to do anything else than put a tiny tiny kiss on her lips just to make her smile.

I don't know where it's coming from, I can't figure it out late into the afternoon. I can't figure it out even watching her in her big t-shirt showing off her legs, can't figure it out when Ian starts giving me sideways looks.

I can't even-

"Are you getting in today or what?" Kazian is leaning over me, dripping water all over me.

"Hm? I was planning on sitting here and keeping tabs on your half-high ass and assorted other shenanigans," I shrug. Ian and Pitty took out the canoe and are all the way across the lake doing God knows what, Luka and Duke are currently having a sprinting race in waist-deep water all the way to the next neighbor's free water dock, and Kaz is staring at me.

"Please? Jessie just went in to get a snack and go to the bathroom. I know you're staying out only because she's not going in."

"That's not- I mean yes."

"You're into her."

"No."

"You're barely more than five inches apart when we're together as a group. You're into her."

I frown, "I'm taking a protective high ground."

"You're into her."

"Protective."

Kaz groans, "I know you want to swim."

"I do, I just don't like the secondary repercussions. Mostly getting wet and having to deal with my leg and all that." Swimming always feels weird without my leg. Always has always will.

"Run it through Jess when she gets back but I want to fuck around with you in the water and you're not making it easy."

I roll my eyes at him, leaning back against the dock, mostly enjoying the sun and watching them mess around. I know I'll have to get out again sooner or later to fire up the grill and start making dinner, that was the plan, at least. We mess around in the lake all day and then celebrate the fourth of July three days before the actual fourth considering I have to be on full guard for the whole fourth, a twenty four hour shift, to watch all the fireworks and all the partying. That's normally among some of our busier nights.

Jessie, much to my surprise considering what she said at the deli, is excited to jump in after me. 

***

how do you guys feel about the way this is progressing at this stage in the game? 

I'm feelin pretty good about it

-rabid