Whispers and Silent Motion (GirlxGirl) (Lesbian)

Chapter 10

"Well don't you? I mean, you're a... a lesbian, aren't you?"

"I can't believe this... I am a lesbian, yes, but that doesn't mean I fall for every girl that walks by. Jesus Christ, woman. And I look at you like that because... Well you've really impressed me lately. Your gun work is beautiful, it's passionate. I can't help but admire it, especially since I don't personally like to use guns on the job. That's all it is, professional admiration." Toni would try to explain without sounding too defensive, hoping to divert Valeriya from questioning any further. It didn't work.

"My apologies then... Well, how do you know that you really are gay? Was this a recent decision? Or... Or have you been gay for a long time." Something about what Valeriya said caused Toni to become a little angry.

"Decision? Listen, Val, being gay isn't a choice. I didn't decide this one day. I've been gay for a long time, I like women. I like sleeping with women. I like being in relationships with women. Men don't do it for me, believe me, I've tried it out." This seemed to divert Val enough to make her back off for the night.

"I'm sorry, Antonia..." She sighed, "I've never met a gay person before."

Toni began to laugh, finding Valeriya's aversion to be quite hilarious. The more she thought about it, the louder she'd wail in laughter.

"What's so funny?!" Val huffed, staring at the other wondering what was so damned amusing about her concern.

"Well it's just... I don't know. You're so freaked out. Like, this isn't that big of a deal." Toni played it off casually, then again, to her this wasn't a big deal. She knew many gay people back in America, although she wasn't aware of the current political crisis in Russia against them.

"No, you don't understand, it is here, Antonia."

The whine in the other's voice prompted Toni to listen, "gay people are hated here. If you're caught, the government will throw you in jail! Or... Or, I don't know. They'll hurt you... You have to keep this a secret!"

"Of course I know I have to keep it a secret!" Toni gritted, "I knew gay people weren't the most respected here but damn... Why do you think I didn't tell you to begin with?!" Valeriya sat back and looked the other in the eyes.

"Wait a moment... You still don't trust me, do you?" A silence cut through them both, something that had been happening a lot lately.

"I... It's not like that, Val."

"Then what is it like? I'm sick of your bullshit lies and your secrets, Antonia. If you want this partnership to work then you need to start telling me what's going on. Why would someone want you dead? Who is that guy you're talking to all the time? Who do you even work for? I know you don't work alone, how could you? You've no way to recieve those hits on your own." Valeriya spat, standing from the couch. The accusation caused an anger to build in Toni, on the contrary, coming to stand against Valeriya.

She grabbed the collar of her shirt and yanked her to eye level, "listen, I have never lied to you, and if you think that secrets and lies are the same thing then you are sorely mistaken. Got me?" It was as if she receded back to when they first met, hostile and violent. Valeriya felt a little bolder now that they'd known eachother for so long.

"No, I don't got you, Antonia. Why don't you explain it to me?" She spat at the woman in front of her. Toni responded with shoving the other back, enough to make her stumble but not fall.

"You know what, Valeriya? Fuck you. I don't have to discuss this with you."

"Fuck me? Fuck you! You're the one that's so bloody secretive! Now that your life is in even more danger than it normally would be, I have to sit here while you work wondering if you'll come home at night." Val's voice fell to somewhat of a desperate whine, not wanting to fight with Toni again.

"I have to be secretive! What do you not understand about that?! If I'm off flaunting my life and personal business then I would be dead! Whether it be for my job or my fucking taste in who I have sex with." She chided, turning her head to look at the other.

"For Christ's sake, I'm not like you. I don't want everyone to know my damned dirty laundry."

What happened next caught them both of guard. Valeriya brought her hand up and delivered a swift smack across Toni's cheek, causing her to step back suddenly. Toni brought her eyes up slowly to look at the other, a heat radiating off of her that only happened very rarely.

"T-Toni, I'm so-" But she was cut off with a hand raising in between them both.

"You know what, I'm going to go out to the bar for a couple of hours. I think we need some time apart." Toni stated simply, not showing the intense rage she was feeling inside of her. She then turned and went to the coat closet, grabbing a small jacket.

"Don't wait up." Was all she said before she disappeared out the front door, leaving Valeriya to her own devices.