maybe if you'd notice (and not miss my calls)

[ two ]

If Donghyuck would pound his heart open, disclose his confined feelings, and show it to Mark, what would Mark feel? Donghyuck wonders about that question too much that he considers it unhealthy.

If he would show his adoration to the sun, the body that gifts warmth to Donghyuck's heart and incessantly keeps him mellow - if a mere planet orbiting the sun would show its adoration for its light, its warmth, what would the sun think? Would the orbit tethering them get cut with a single fracture of a sunray? Would his sunshine even mind?

If his unspoken feelings are exposed, open for the whole world to see, would Mark attempt to avoid Donghyuck? Would Mark even reciprocate the feelings?

A star and a planet, doesn't it seem too cruel? Although they are deemed interconnected, although they always function with one another - doesn't it seem too good to be true? A star engulfing a planet into its warmth, the planet practically melting at its touch, both metaphorically and physically - doesn't the picture seem too unfitting?

Donghyuck knew and always will know that Mark shouldn't be placed on a high pedestal - he's basically human too, Donghyuck notes - yet, Donghyuck finds himself staring up to Mark in awe.

His emotions, they are a mess of reds, and whites, and blues - all tingled and mingled - puddled into a beautiful clutter, tying his heart into knots and knots, eventually suffocating him. If lies were beautiful, then the beauty would cloak the painting Donghyuck's been hiding all along. A painting, secretly hidden under, concealing a masterpiece of Donghyuck's true thoughts, true intentions. A painting -- disguising itself -- with the desire for intimacy, with the desire to form everything into something more, with the desire to perhaps, and finally, hold the person he's been seeking for all along.

Donghyuck is a mere planet, Mark is the sun a lot of people admire - in fact, he's the sun everyone admires. And how can Donghyuck, a simple and somber planet, catch the attention of someone who people long for greatly?

A painting, sprinkled with the brightest of stars - Mark being the brightest of them - and Donghyuck, a planet endeavoring to circumvent the sun's line of sight; and albeit trying, the pull starts to tighten. He's being tugged, tugged, tugged until he faces the sweltering heat of the sun, a proximity too close for Donghyuck's liking.

And Donghyuck quietly grimaces, ignoring the bewildered look Mark silently gave.

At that moment, Donghyuck smothers the butterflies in his stomach fluttering and fluttering, Donghyuck cloaks the faint hue of pink on his cheeks, Donghyuck ignores the word that his heart has desperately been trying to declare. He finally recognizes, he deeply understands the saying 'what goes around, comes around' since his petty, little feelings took the spotlight again.

When Donghyuck's eyes meet Mark's, the older's callous hands clasping the back of Donghyuck's shirt for support, Donghyuck finally knows what to say.

I love you.

Yet he doesn't find himself saying it. Words are better left unsaid, they exclaim - Donghyuck too believes that.

・・・

[ to be continued ]

・・・