BETWEEN REVENGE AND LOVE

20

"Y/n I had to."

"No, you didn't!"

Enraged, she tries to pull her hand out of my grip. But I don't let go.

Frustrated, she gives up, "Do you feel better now?"

"Yes."

"Oh, so you enjoyed hurting him?"

"Yes."

"Why?!"

"I won, showed him you're mine."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

By now my eyes have mostly adjusted to the darkness, I can make out her whole face, her eyebrows drawn together, her eyes glinting at me deadly.

"You wouldn't understand, you're still too drunk for that."

I smirk at her and that seems to make her even angrier.

"How could you?! First of all, I'm not a thing that could belong to anyone, I'm my own person, so I belong to myself. Second, if that was really the reason for this pointless fight then, then-"

"Then what?"

She's acting as if I killed someone.

The anger that's been welling up inside me starts to seethe under my skin.

"We wanted to talk," I hiss, "not fight."

"Oh, you don't like to argue, I thought you enjoyed that sort of thing."

Raged I shake my head no, she really does not understand me, or does she?

She hasn't even recognized my answer, averted her gaze, staring into what I only can make out as thick dark blue night.

I don't see through my actions myself. No, I don't.

I scoot closer, my hand reaching up, touching her skin, her jaw, lifting up her face so she has to look at me. I just need her to look at me again.

I have no idea what she thinks about me, only her eyes sometimes give away what she's feeling. Can't be sure of anything though. Not when it comes to her.

"You know, that's not what I meant."

"Oh, no? You didn't mean it? So I'm not an object anymore and you feel sorry for Theo?"

To feel her pulse hammering franticly almost makes me smile again, she's gonna kill me if I do. But it's hard to keep it in being confronted with her rage. I never got to feel it until now. The other times she was mostly nervous, not angry.

She must confuse why I'm always talking about that with her. Nervousness. Nervousness is one of the only things I can read on her.

"No," I shake my head anew, denying what she said.

I certainly don't feel sorry for Theo. What was the other thing she said? I don't know.

"No?"

"I'm sick of you being mad at me, I didn't do anything."

"Are you kidding me?"

She glares at me poisonously, my hand on her jaw slips down, my fingers wrapping around her throat.

"Oh, shut up," I hiss, letting my eyes sparkle back as hatefully as hers pierce through me.

"Make me."

Her words ring in my ears, as if she screamed them through the silence, although it was only a faint whisper of hers.

Now she's so quiet, her eyes glinting up at me awaiting. Expecting.

Expecting what? What is she imagining under me making her shut up?

What things I want to do to her, lord. Surely not what she's thinking about.

Does she hate me? Her pulse is still pounding under my hand, I almost feel her blood boiling.

Boiling blood.

Is she that mad?

Yes idiot, she is.

Even her hair looks angry. If that's possible. It's messy, multiple strands of it have fallen into her face. It looks cute. It looks soft. She looks soft.

Even though she's angry.

My thoughts hesitate, my hands don't.

While my one hand still wraps around her neck my other reaches up to her face too, brushing those untamed strands out of her pretty little angry face.

They really do feel soft, exactly how they looked, silky to the touch.

Her breath becomes strangely shallow the longer I touch her, as if her body was shutting down. But the anger in her eyes hasn't subsided. Well, maybe it has. It's mixed.

Nervousness, anger. Hate?

Excitement, anticipation, tension.

Tension.

Her mouth opens slightly, attracting my attention, as she draws in a breath. My gaze stays on her lips, examining how they're curved perfectly.

I want to touch them so badly.

So I do just that.

My thumb traces under her lower lip, then across it. It's such a strange moment. It's almost like I were alone. I want to know what she's thinking. About me. I want a reaction.

My eyebrows draw together slightly, what is she thinking? Is she wondering the same thing right now? What I am thinking?

My fingers tighten around her throat, trying to get some kind of reaction out of her.

Nothing. Except for more breaths, this time more strained, air flowing through her lips on which my eyes are permanently locked.

Without thinking, I lower my head towards her a little, noticing how hers automatically reaches up slightly. Towards me. My lips hover over hers, so close that I taste her breath, firewhiskey and unmistakably her.

We breathe the same air, sweetened by her scent.

I lean down further, not stopping until my lips finally press onto hers.

I kiss her, eager to see what she'll do. It doesn't seem unrealistic that she'll push me away.

It's Y/n.

And I am me.

And she kissed Theo.

And I broke his nose.

But none of that matters, who I am or what I'm doing, as her lips start to move against mine, unexpectedly roughly.